LOVELIGHT

magazine

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November 2008***Vol. 5, no. 11

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Managing Editors: Adamaria Francis and a franciscan taoist

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Thanks, and public acknowledgment to, the following contributors to this issue:  Barbara Baty,  Jim Dwyer, Maureen Dwyer, Pat Fields, Chris Finer, Mark Franzen, Mick Gallagher, and Michelle Spivey.

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LOVELIGHT MAGAZINE: WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT

    

Lovelight magazine is free, coming to your inboxscreen monthly, to announce the beauty of Love!  And we love to laugh!:)  So, if you discover any good chuckles, please send them along!:)  But no bigoted, prejudiced, scatological, geruntological, low-quality, or poor-taste humor, please. 

     Still, life is not all laughs.  So, we hope also to share pleasant and happy thoughts.  Lovelight wants to promote peace and harmony, all over the world, and to aid you to feel good!:)  If you are working on any religious, psychological, or spiritual issues, we encourage you to read the ezine, and to write to us at rmfrancis@juno.com  

     Also, if you come across any wise or touching pieces, not copyrighted, fairly short, please share them with us!  Also welcome are practical tips, short pieces on personal philosophies, interesting facts, wordplays, and general spirituality (but no religion or "preachy" dogma, please.:).  We reserve the right to make whatever changes we deem necessary or desirable before inclusion in Lovelight.

      A subscription is free.  As a subscriber, your email name/address will not be shared.  Please share, send, or copy, this magazine, or any parts of it.  Share it as widely as possible, with all your friends, and all others.  Please use it on  your websites and bulletinboards.  Please photocopy, email, or snailmail any parts of it to others.  Also, please have friends send us their emailaddresses and subscribe.  Subscriptions are free.

     This is "light" reading.  And it is also great, fun reading.  A collection of magazines is produced once a year, in a single paperback book.  We have published three volumes, and this would make a sweet gift for a loved one.  Happy reading!:)

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Life is a great big  canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.--Danny Kaye (1913-1987)

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ItÕs never too late to be who you might have been.--George Elliot (1819-1880)

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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.--Plato (c. 427-347 BC)

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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.  Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.--Mark Twain (1835-1910)

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Character is doing whatÕs right when nobodyÕs looking.--J.C. Watts, Jr.

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I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum.  Frances Willard (1839-1898)

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Three things in human life are important: First is to be kind.  The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.--Henry James (1843-1916)

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The game of life is the game of boomerangs.  Our thoughts, deeds, and words return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy.--Florence Shinn (1871-1940)

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When you reach for the stars, you might not quite get one, but you wonÕt come up with a handful of mud either.--Leo Burnett (1891-1971)

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You take people as far as they will go, not as far as you would like them to go.  Jeanette Rankin (1880-1973)

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IÕve always tried to go a step past wherever people expected me to end up.--Beverly Sills (1929-2007)

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Help others get ahead.  You will always stand taller with someone else on your shoulders.  Bob Moawa

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Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.--Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)

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The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect, and beginning the work of becoming yourself.--Anna Quindlen

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Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.--Susan Ertz (1894-1985)

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Truce is better than friction.--Charles Herguth

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Some think itÕs holding on that makes one strong; sometimes itÕs letting go.--Sylvia Robinson

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Anger is the only thing to put off till tomorrow.--Slovakian Proverb

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ItÕs very hard to take yourself too seriously when you look at the world from outer space.--Thomas Mattingly

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We cannot direct  the wind, but we can adjust the sails.--Bertha Calloway

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Worry is a misuse of the imagination.--Dan Zadra

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Only you can be yourself.  No one else is qualified for the job.

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There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.--Freya Stark (1893-1993)

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The truth is that there is nothing noble in being "superior" to somebody else.  The only real nobility is in being superior to your former self.  Whitney Young (1921-1971)

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Life is like an ever-shifting kaleidoscope-- a slight change, and all patterns alter.  Sharon Salzberg

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No matter what youÕve done for yourself or for humanity, if you canÕt look back on having given Love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?--Lee Iacocca

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Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even and one-upping, always make you less than you are.--Malcolm Forbes (1919-1990)

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There are spaces between our fingers so that another personÕs fingers can fill them in.

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Be life long or short, its completeness depends on what it was lived for.--David Jordan (1851-1931)

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The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.--Harriet Stowe (1811-1896)

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You cannot live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.--John Wooden

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A friend told me that for each morning when we get up we have to decide whether we are going to save or savor the world.  I donÕt think that is the decision.  ItÕs not an either/or, save or savor.  We have to do both, save and savor the world.--Kate Clinton

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Follow the grain in your own wood.--Howard Thurman (1900-1981)

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Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all she has.--Jackson Brown

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There is no greater joy or greater reward than to make a fundamental difference in someoneÕs life.--Mary Rose McGeady

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The opportunity for brotherhood presents itself every time you meet a human being.—Jane Wyman (1917-2007)

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Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.  Jennie Churchill (1854-1921)

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Only the mediocre are always at their best.--Jean Giraudoux (1882-1944)

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Challenge is a dragon with a gift in its mouth.  Tame the dragon, and the gift is yours.  Noela Evans

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SOME FASCINATING OBSERVATIONS, sent in by Maureen Dwyer


I'm a little confused.  Let me see if I have this straight:
If you grow up in Hawaii, reared by your grandparents, you're "exotic" or "different." 
Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you are somehow a "quintessential American story," a "common person," and have the ability to relate to everyone!


If your name is Barack, you're a "radical, unpatriotic Muslim." 
Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, then, you're a maverick!


Graduate from Harvard law School, and you are "unstable." 
Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, and you're "well-grounded"!


If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.  But
if your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.


If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian. 
But if you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.


If you teach responsible, age appropriate sexeducation, including the proper use of birthcontrol, you are eroding the fiber of society. 
But if , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sexeducation in your state's school system while your
unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you're very responsible.


If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's. 
But if you're husband is nicknamed "First Dude," with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age
25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

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MORE LAUGHS AND CHUCKLES:  
HUMORTHERAPY

 

THE MOPED, sent in by Mick Gallagher
 
A man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.  The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, sonny ?"
     The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO.  It cost half a million dollars!"
     "That's a lot of money," he replies.  "Why does it cost so much?"
     "Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.
     The Moped driver asks,"Mind if I take a look inside?"
     "No problem," replies the doc.  So he pokes his head in the window and looks around.
Then, sitting back on his Moped, he says, "That's a pretty nice
car, all right!  But I'll stick with my Moped!"
     The light changes, so the doctor decides to show him
just what his car can do:  He floors it , and within 3 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph.
 
     Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rearview mirror.  It seems to be getting closer .  He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH !  Something whips by him going much faster.  "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari ?" he asks himself.  He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph.  Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the man on the Moped.  Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, He gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 275 mph. He was feeling pretty good until he looked
in his mirror and saw the man gaining on him again.  Astounded by the speed of this moped, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph.  Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again.  The Ferrari is moving at its maximum speed, and there's nothing he can do.  Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.  He stops and jumps out and unbelievably, the moped-man is still alive.  He runs up to the banged-up guy and says, "I'm a doctor.  Is there  anything I can do for you ?"
     He whispers," You can unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror!"
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A POST-TURTLE, sent in by Mick Gallagher

 

While suturing a cut on the hand of a Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation.  Eventually the topic got around to Sarah

Palin  and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President. The rancher said, "Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle

was.

The rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle." He saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain: "You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up

there, she doesn't know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with."

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A FABLE  (OR NOT), sent in by Mark Franzen

 

 

Once upon a man announced to the villagers of a tiny town that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

They, seeing that there were many monkeys started catching them.  He bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, they stopped their effort.  He next announced that he would
now buy monkeys at $20 each. They started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find one!

He now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city, his assistant would buy on his behalf.  In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers:  "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected.
I will sell them to you at $35 and when he returns, you can sell them to him for $50 each."

They  bought all the monkeys for 700 billion dollars.

They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of
monkeys!

Now you have a better understanding of how the WALL STREET BAILOUT
PLAN WILL WORK !!!!

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Life is a journey.   Roll Down the window and enjoy the breeze.

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THE LADIES AND THE COP, sent in by Chris Finer

 

Waiting to catch speeders, a state trooper saw a car puttering along at 22 mph.  He thought,  "This  driver is as dangerous as a speeder!"  So he turned on his flashing lights and pulled the driver over.  He notices that there are five ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts.  The driver, obviously confused, said, "Officer, I don't understand.  I was going the exact speed limit.  What seems to be the problem?"

     He explained that 22 was the  route number, not the speed limit.  A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. 

     He said, "Is everyone in this car OK?  These women seem awfully shaken."    

     "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 127."

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INVESTMENT TIPS FOR 2008, sent in by Maureen Dwyer

 

With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America, this might be some good advice.  For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.  Watch for these consolidations later this year:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.***2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.***3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.***4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.***5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.***6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

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BELIEVE! sent in by Maureen Dwyer

 

Have a seat . . . Relax . . . And read this slowly .
 I believe -
 . . That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love  each other.  And just because they don't argue, it  doesn't mean they do!***That we don't have to change friends if we  understand that friends  change.  Remember that!***That no matter how good a friend is, she's  going to hurt you every  once in a while; and you must forgive her for that.  Even if you think  you can't.***That true friendship continues to grow, even over  the longest distance.  Same goes for true love.***That you can do something in an instant that will  give you heartache for life.***That it's taking me a long time to become the  person I want to be.***That you should always leave loved ones with loving words.  It might be the last time you see them!***That you can keep going long after you think you  can't.***That we are responsible for what we do, no matter  how we feel.***That either you control your attitude or it  controls you.***That heroes are the people who do what has to be  done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.***That money is a lousy way of keeping score.***That my best friend and I can do anything or  nothing and have the  best time.***That sometimes the people you expect to kick you  when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.***That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that  doesn't give me the right to be cruel.***That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've  had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays  you've celebrated.***That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by  others.  Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.***That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the  world doesn't stop for your grief.***That our background and circumstances may have  influenced who we  are, but we are responsible for who we become.***That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a  secret.  It could change your life forever.***Two people can look at the exact same thing and see  something totally different.***That your life can be changed in a matter of hours  by people who don't even know you or by people whom you don't  even know.***That even when you think you have no more to give,  when a friend  cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.***That credentials on the wall do not make you a  decent human being.***That you should send this to all of the people in whom you believe.

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THE SEASONS OF LIFE, sent in by Barbara Baty

 

There are seasons in your life in the same way that there are seasons in nature.  There are times to cultivate and create, when you nurture your world and give birth to new ideas and ventures. There are times of flourishing and abundance, when life feels in full bloom, energized and expanding.  And there are times of fruition, when things come to an end.  They have reached their climax and must be harvested before they begin to fade.  And, finally, of course, there are times that are cold, and cutting and empty, times when the spring of new beginnings seems like a distant dream.  Those rhythms in life are natural events.  They weave into one another as day follows night, bringing, not messages of hope and fear, but messages of how things are.  If you realize that each phase of your life is a natural occurrence, then you need not be swayed by the changes in circumstances and mood that life brings.  You find that you have an opportunity to be fully in the world at all times and to show yourself as a brave and proud individual in any situation.

 

--from Tibetan Buddhist writings

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COCOA MULCH, sent in by Pat Fields

 

Even if you don't have a pet, please pass this to those who do: One of our dog agility friends experienced a tragedy!  The doting owner of two young lab mixes purchased Cocoa
Mulch to use in her garden.  She loved the way it smelled and it was advertised to keep cats away from her garden.  Her dog Calypso decided that the mulch smelled good enough to eat and devoured a large helping. She vomited a few times, but wasn't acting lethargic in any way.

     The next day, this lady took Calypso out for her morning walk.  Half way through, Calypso had a seizure and died instantly.  Although the mulch had NO warnings, upon further investigation, it was discovered that this product is HIGHLY toxic to dogs and cats.  Cocoa Mulch is manufactured by Hershey's, and they claim that, "It is true that studies have shown that 50% of the dogs that eat Cocoa Mulch can suffer physical harm to a variety of degrees (depending on each individual dog).  However, 98% of all dogs won't eat it."  This Snopes site gives the following information:
http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/cocoamulch.asp
 
 Cocoa Mulch, which is sold by Home Depot, Foreman's Garden Supply, Target, and
other Garden supply stores, contains a lethal ingredient called 'theobromine.'  It is lethal to dogs and cats.  It smells like chocolate and it really attracts dogs.  They will ingest this stuff and die.  Just a word of caution:  Check what you are using in your gardens and be aware of what your gardeners are using in your gardens.  Theobromine is in all chocolate, especially dark or baker's chocolate which is toxic to dogs.  Cocoa bean shells contain potentially toxic quantities
of Theobromine, a xanthine compound similar in effects to caffeine and theophylline.  A dog that ingested a lethal quantity of garden mulch made from cocoa-bean shells developed severe convulsions and died 17 hours later.  Analysis of the stomach contents and the ingested cocoa-bean shells revealed the presence of lethal amounts of Theobromine.  Please give this the widest distribution!

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"MUST KNOW" ABOUT 'STAR 77,' sent in by Michelle Spivey

 

It was about one p.m.  And Lauren was driving. An UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her and put his flashing lights on.  Lauren's parents have always told her never to pull over for an unmarked car, but rather to wait until they get to a gas station.  Lauren had actually listened to her parents' advice, and promptly called *77 to tell the police dispatcher that she would not pull over right away.  She proceeded to tell the dispatcher that there was an unmarked police car with a flashing red light on his rooftop behind her.  The dispatcher checked to see if there were police cars near where she was, and there weren't, and he told her to keep driving, remain calm, and that he had back up already on the way.  Ten minutes later, 4 cop cars surrounded her along with the unmarked car behind her.  One policeman went to her side, and the others surrounded the car behind.  They pulled the guy from the car and tackled him.  He was a convicted rapist and wanted for other crimes, including previously having impersonated an officer.

     I never knew about the*77 Cell Phone feature, but especially for a woman alone in a car, you should never pull over for an unmarked car.  Apparently, police have to respect your right to keep going to a safe &quiet place.  You obviously need to make some signals that you acknowledge the police-- (I.e., put on your hazard lights) or call *77 like Lauren did.  Too bad the cell phone companies don't generally give you this little bit of wonderful information.

 

*Speaking to a service representative at BellSouth Mobility confirmed that *77 was a direct link to state trooper info in all states.  So, now it's your turn to let your friends know about *77.

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PROTECTING YOUR IDENTITY, sent in by Barbara Baty

 

The Sherlock Holmes Guide to Recovering Your Stolen Identity

 

Article by Zen Habits contributor Jonathan Mead.

 

As technology rapidly increases, and the information age expands, our identities are at an increasing risk for being stolen.  But itÕs not a hacker trying to steal your social security number that should be causing you to lose sleep.  ItÕs the ownership of your mind thatÕs at stake.

Most of us work at boring jobs, doing the same ol' thing, day in and day out.  WeÕre trying to liberate ourselves from these dead-end pursuits (thatÕs why youÕre here right?) but itÕs not always easy.

The answer society has given us is to buy more things:

 

The answer weÕre given is not a change of attitude or perspective, but a product.  What theyÕre really saying is: ÒIf you have this thing youÕll finally live up to the image of who you think you should be, or rather, who we think you should be.Ó

This might sound a bit extreme.  Most of us canÕt imagine that weÕre living a lie and that stuff is ruling our lives.  ThatÕs only because weÕve been so brilliantly duped [or brainwashed].

I, personally, have defined myself by my stuff.  Who hasnÕt?  IÕve thought that as soon as I get this car, this job, these clothes and this image, IÕll finally be somebody.  But as soon as I get that stuff, as soon as I feel that my image is complete, IÕm on to the next thing.  I need an upgrade. IÕm in search of the next thing to make me feel better.

The battle for your authenticity is not an easy one, but there are some things you can do to get started on the road to recovering your stolen identity.

So, you want to recover your stolen mind?  IÕve enlisted the help of Master Detective Sherlock Holmes to help guide us on our search.

1. Accept that your identity is in jeopardy.

ÒYou do occasionally find a carrion crow among the eagles.Ó-- Sherlock Holmes

The first step on the path to recovering your true self is accepting that your identity is in jeopardy.  You might be living a lie.  That doesnÕt mean that your whole life has been a fraud (see: how to not sell out). This isnÕt black and white.  There will probably be a lot of grey area in between.  The first step is to realize that the socially acceptable path to "success" might not be your path.  Compromise is okay, but not at the expense of your Soul.  A partially free mind is just not acceptable.  [A "partially free" mind is in slavery.]

2. Authenticity isnÕt easy.

ÒIt was easier to know it than to explain why I know it.  If you were asked to prove that two and two made four, you might find some difficulty, and yet you are quite sure of the fact.Ó-- Sherlock Holmes

The battle for your authenticity can be an ugly one.  Your ego might get hurt in the process.  It probably wonÕt feel very good if you own up to the fact that youÕve been lying to yourself for a while about who you really are or want to be.  The fact is, authenticity isnÕt easy.  But itÕs worth it.

3. Find the thief.

ÒWe are spies in an enemyÕs country.Ò-- Sherlock Holmes

Do some digging around.  Put on your detective cap and start looking for clues.  Sometimes the culprit will have left obvious tracks and his work will be downright clumsy.  This is usually obvious when thereÕs strong emotional resistance.  Maybe you donÕt want to be a lawyer, but youÕre pushing yourself through law school because youÕve always been told you are really good at making arguments.  This is a sure sign that your authenticity has been broken.

4. Be wary of the stealthy crook.

ÒThese are much deeper waters than I had thought.Ó-- Sherlock Holmes

There will be times where your compromised identity is not seen in plain sight.  It will take some serious work to uncover the genesis of this offense.  Perhaps youÕre trying to read a lot of ÒhipÓ books to make yourself seem cool.  You really donÕt care for the words on these pages; you just want them on your bookshelf to show off when friends come over.  Maybe you donÕt really care for wine, but you drink it any way because all your friends do too.  You donÕt want to be left out, right?  Be wary of the times when it seems like a small compromise isnÕt much.  A small lie to yourself is like a little tumor in your authenticity.  Unless you remove it before itÕs too late, it can easily grow out of control.

5. Follow the clues back to the source.

ÒWhen once your point of view is changed, the very thing which was so damning becomes a clue to the truth.Ó-- Sherlock Holmes

Once youÕve discovered the scene of the crime, you have to trace the steps back to the source of the problem.  You have to start thinking about a motive.  What caused your authenticity to be compromised?  Were you trying to live up to an image of "perfection" in your mind?  Were you afraid of not fitting in because you were an outcast in high school?  ItÕs time to face up to the facts.

6. Start over.

ÒFor once you have fallen low.  Let us see in the future how high you can rise.Ó-- Sherlock Holmes

Now that youÕve uncovered the culprit and found the source of your problem, itÕs time to press the reset button.  Forgive yourself for not having been perfect.  Realize that itÕs okay to not be as cool as you think you are.  Choose freedom over living up to some kind of lifestyle.  Choose acceptance over chasing some idea of what other people think you should be.  If other people donÕt accept that, maybe itÕs time to say so long to them.

7. Protect yourself.

ÒOne drawback of an active mind is that one can always conceive alternate explanations which would make our scent a false one.Ó-- Sherlock Holmes

The final step to recovering your authenticity is to protect yourself from the creation of falsehood's happening again in the future.  This might mean making a pact to be true to yourself, before anything else.  It might mean that you cut down on media consumption.  You stop watching TV and reading magazines (or at least do so selectively).  You stop listening to people tell you what they think you should be.

There will obviously be times when we will still do things to fit in.  WeÕll probably act differently around our mother than we would around our drinking buddies.  ThatÕs okay.

 In order to protect your identity from being stolen, stop chasing some idea of what you think you should be, but youÕre not.

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PEOPLE WE WOULD RATHER AVOID, sent in by Barbara Baty

 

Tricycle's Daily Dharma

 

People We'd Rather Avoid

 

Metta (lovingkindness, unreserved friendliness) is to be extended towards all beings and all manifestations, yet most of our difficulties lie with people.  It is much easier to love birds, dogs, cats, and trees than it is to love people.  Trees and animals don't answer back, but people do, so this is where our training commences.  Sometimes people find they don't feel anything while practicing metta meditation.  That is nothing to worry about; thoughts aimed often enough in the right direction eventually produce the feelings.  All our sense contacts produce feelings. Thoughts are the sixth sense.  And even if we are only thinking metta, eventually the feeling will arise.  It is one means of helping us to gain this heart quality, but certainly not the only one.  In our daily activities, all of us are confronted with other people; and often, ]we meet] with those whom we would rather avoid.  These are our challenges, lessons, and tests.  If we consider them in that manner, we won't be so irritated by these experiences.  When we realize that such a confrontation is exactly what we need at that moment in order to overcome resistance and negativity and substitute metta for those emotions, then we will be grateful for the opportunity.

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NINE FAIL PROOF TIPS FOR EATING HEALTHY AT SOCIAL GATHERINGS,
sent in by Barbara Baty  

 

I have to admit that while I eat pretty healthy at home, my weakness is at social gatherings: family parties, weddings, gatherings with friends, barbecues, eating out at restaurants.

IÕve tried different strategies, with mixed success.  So, before I went out last night (for the FIFTH time in six nights!), I asked my friends on Twitter (follow me here) for some of their best tips on eating healthy at social gatherings.

They responded with some great, common-sense tips.  While many of these are tips IÕve tried before, itÕs good to be reminded of them.  And a couple I havenÕt tried yet, so I now have a good arsenal of strategies at my disposal.

I thought you might find these tips useful.  

Please note that some of these might be a bit contradictory.  You should pick the tips that work best for you, and not look at this as a step-by-step guide.

  1. Eat before you go.  This was by far the most popular tip, and probably the most useful. Fill up on healthy foods at home.
  2. Place limits. Try a two plate limit, and a two drink limit.
  3. Plan ahead. Find out the menu ahead of time and make healthy choices, before you go.
  4. Drink lots of water and eat fruits and veggies.  You can eat as many veggies as you want without consuming many calories.  Just avoid dipping sauces and dressings.
  5. Have a big salad before the main course.  Again, avoid too much dressing, and go for the lighter dressings.
  6. Log what you eat, so youÕll be more aware of it.
  7. Avoid alcohol.  ItÕs just empty calories.  You can have fun without alcohol — I do it all the time.
  8. Bring your own.  If itÕs a potluck-style gathering, cook something healthy and bring it with you.
  9. Just try to eat healthy most of the week, and relax when you are at social gatherings.  This is one of my favorite tips.:)  You donÕt need to eat healthy all the time.  This is the tip I usually follow, but youÕve got to come up with other strategies when youÕre going to social gatherings almost every night.

What are your strategies for eating healthy (or not) when youÕre out at social gatherings?  Please share in the comments.

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THE ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE: A GRACEFUL, GRATEFUL LIFE, from Zen Habits, sent in by Barbara Baty

 

ÒIf the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'Thank you,' that would suffice.Ó-- Meister Eckhart (thirteeth century)

 

ItÕs amazing how one simple, positive action can change so much!

One of these things is the realization of the power of gratitude.  It has made us more positive persons.  More productive persons. Better achievers. Better husbands, fathers, sons, and brothers.  Happier persons. Not perfect, but gratitude has made us better.

Can it change your life as well?  It can be guaranteed!  You might not get the exact same benefits, but thereÕs no doubt that the simple act of gratitude on a regular basis will change anyoneÕs life, positively and immediately.  How many other changes can claim to be that quick, that easy, and that profound?

LetÕs take a look at some of the ways you can incorporate gratitude into your life, and how it will change your life.  These are just some examples, and not all will apply to your life.  But pick and choose the ones you think will work for you.

1. Have a morning gratitude session.  Take one minute in the morning (make it a daily ritual) to think of the people who have done something nice for you, to think of all the things in your life for which you are grateful.  You wonÕt get to everything in one minute, but itÕs enough. And it will instantly make your day better.  Can you think of a better use of one minute?

2. When youÕre having a hard day É make a gratitude list.  We all have those bad days sometimes.  We are stressed out from work.  We get yelled at by someone.  We lose a loved one. We hurt a loved one.  We lose a contract or do poorly on a project.  One of the things that can make a bad day much better is making a list of all the things for which you are thankful.  There are always things to be thankful for — loved ones, health, having a job, having a roof over your head and clothes on your back, life itself.

3. Instead of getting mad at someone, show gratitude.  ThatÕs a major switching of attitudes — actually a complete flip.  And so this isnÕt always easy to do.  But itÕs a great thing to do.  If you get mad at your co-worker, for example, because of something he or she did É bite your tongue and donÕt react in anger.  Instead, take some deep breaths, calm down, and try to think of reasons youÕre grateful for that person.  Has she done anything nice for you?  Has she ever done a good job?  Find something, anything, even if itÕs difficult.  Focus on those things that make you grateful.  It will slowly change your mood.  And if you get in a good enough mood, show your gratitude to that person.  It will improve your mood, your relationship, and help make things better.  After showing gratitude, you can ask for a favor— can she please refrain from shredding your important documents in the future?  And in the context of your gratitude, such a favor isnÕt such a hard thing for her to grant.

4. Instead of criticizing your significant other, show gratitude.  This is basically the same as the above tactic, but gratitude can transform a marriage or relationship.  If you constantly criticize your spouse, your marriage will slowly deteriorate.  ItÕs important to be able to talk out problems, but no one likes to be criticized all the time.  Instead, when you find yourself feeling the urge to criticize, stop and take a deep breath.  Calm down, and think about all the reasons youÕre grateful for your spouse.  Then share that gratitude, as soon as possible. Your relationship will become stronger.  Your spouse will learn from your example — especially if you do this all the time.  Your love will grow, and all will be right in the world.

5. Instead of complaining about your kids, be grateful for them.  Many parents get frustrated with their children.  They are too slow to do things, they have a bad attitude, they canÕt clean up after themselves, and they pick their noses too much.  Unfortunately, sometimes parents will communicate frustration to their children too often.  And the kids will begin to feel bad about themselves.  Many parents have done this.  But thereÕs a better way: follow the method of calming down when youÕre frustrated, and thinking of reasons youÕre grateful to your child.  Share these reasons with your child.  And then take the opportunity to teach her, instead of criticizing her.

6. When you face a major challenge, be grateful for it.  Many people will see something difficult as a bad thing.  If something goes wrong, itÕs a reason to complain, itÕs a time of selfpity. That wonÕt get you anywhere.  Instead, learn to be grateful for the challenge — itÕs an opportunity to grow, to learn, to get better at something.  This will transform you from a complainer into a positive person who only continues to improve.  People will like you better and youÕll improve your career.

7. When you suffer a tragedy, be grateful for the life you still have.  My children recently lost a grandmother.  These tragedies can be crippling if you let them overcome you.  You should grieve.  Of course you should.  You can also take away something even greater from these tragedies: gratitude for the life you still have.  Appreciation for the fleeting beauty of life itself.  Love for the people who are still in your life.  Take this opportunity to show appreciation to these people, and to enjoy life while you can.

8. Instead of looking at what you donÕt have, look at what you do have.  Have you ever looked around you and bemoaned how little you have?  How the place where you live isnÕt your dream house, or the car you drive isnÕt as nice as youÕd like, or your peers have cooler gadgets or better jobs?  If so, thatÕs an opportunity to be grateful for what you already have.  ItÕs easy to forget that there are billions of people worse off than you — who donÕt have much in the way of shelter or clothes, who donÕt own a car and never will, who donÕt own a gadget or even know what one is, who donÕt have a job at all or only have very menial, miserable jobs in sweatshop conditions.  ]Many do not get one square meal a day; most do not have access to clean drinking-water.  A billion people live on one dollar a day, and two billion—one out of every three—live on two dollars a day.] Compare your life to these peopleÕs lives, and be grateful for the life you have. And realize that itÕs already more than enough, that happiness is not a destination — itÕs already here.

ÒEveryday, think as you wake up, "Today is fortunate because I am alive. This is a precious human life.  All energies are going to be used to aid other living creatures, to develop and grow,  to expand the heart out to others, to discover enlightenment for the benefit of all beings.  Kind thoughts will continually be felt for, sent to, others.  Getting angry or thinking badly about others is out of the question, and the mind is cleared from all this kind of thinking.  Every benefit and blessing will be given to all others."

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AQUARIUSCIIENCE: THE FUTURE IS NOW!  Discoveries and inventions described in the Kurzweil Science Newsletter:

 

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Smart Insulin

Technology Review Oct. 30, 2008

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SmartCells has developed an

injectable drug called SmartInsulin

that senses high glucose levels and

automatically dispenses insulin on

demand. As glucose levels drop off,

the drug stabilizes, trapping

insulin until the next glucose

spike. Such a drug may cut down the

number of insulin injections

required to once a day and reduce

the risk of...

http://www.kurzweilai.net/email/newsRedirect.html?newsID=9633&m=40083

 

 

 

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Voyage of the Bacteria Bots

Technology Review Oct. 31, 2008

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Researchers at the Ecole

Polytechnique de Montreal have

coupled live, swimming bacteria to

150-nanometer beads to develop a

self-propelling "nanobot" device

steered through the body using

magnetic resonance imaging (MRI).

(The NanoRobotics Laboratory, Ecole

Polytechnique de Montreal) The

bacteria swim at 200 microns/second

using tiny...

http://www.kurzweilai.net/email/newsRedirect.html?newsID=9632&m=40083

 

KURZWEILAI.NET NEWSLETTER

 

 

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Nanoparticles Target Multiple

Cancer Genes, Shrink Tumors More

Effectively

PhysOrg.com Oct. 28, 2008

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Nanoparticles filled with small

interfering RNA (siRNA) molecules

targeting two genes that trigger

melanoma have shown that they can

inhibit the development of melanoma,

the most dangerous type of skin

cancer, while leaving healthy tissue

alone, Penn State College of

Medicine researchers have found....

http://www.kurzweilai.net/email/newsRedirect.html?newsID=9624&m=40083

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