Lovelight

Magazine

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October, 2006, ***Volume 3, No.10

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Managing Editors: Richard Shining Thunder Francis and Ada Maria Francis.

Contributors to this issue: Ramon Abella, Loretta Carrier, Maureen Dwyer, Pat Fields, Chris Finer, Mick Gallagher, Pat Goodman, "Green Tips", Marcia Lehman, Organic Consumers' Association, Deb Riley, Ty Scharrer, Karleen Sell, Geoffrey Stoermer.

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LOVELIGHT MAGAZINE: WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT

Lovelight magazine is free. It comes directly to your inboxscreen once a month, to bring a little sunshine into your life. We hope to bring you at least a few laughs, in the "Humor Therapy" section. So, if you discover any jokes that make you roar with laughter, please send them along. But life, as we know, is not all laughs. So, we hope also to share with you some pleasant and sweet thoughts-- and life-lessons.

Lovelight wants to promote peace and harmony. We would also love to aid you personally to overcome any problems that you might have. If you are working on any religious, psychological, or spiritual problems, we encourage you to write to us at rmfrancis@juno.com

We also want to present "miniparables" to help you grow. So, if you come across any wise or touching pieces, not copyrighted, fairly short, please share them with the efamily. Please send them to the magazine, at the same address. Also welcome are practical tips that can make life easier or safer. We also welcome short pieces on personal philosophies, interesting facts, wordplays, and spirituality, especially those that emphasize the value of compassion and other forms of Love. We reserve the right to make whatever changes that we deem necessary or desirable before inclusion in Lovelight magazine.

Your email name/address will not be shared. Please share, send, or copy, this magazine, or any parts of it. Share it with all your friends, and all others. Please use it on your websites. Also, if your friends are inclined, please have them send us their emailaddress and request a personal subscription.

This is published as a "light" introduction to spirituality. It is designed especially for those who have little or no interest in the "heavier" aspects. Indeed, it has proved useful to reach them. And it is also great, fun reading for all the rest of us!:) A collection of magazines is produced once a year, and would make a sweet gift for a loved one. Happy reading!:)

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WE HEAR YOU: LOVELETTERS FROM FRIENDS, BUDS, AND PALS

Sent in by Marcia Lehman

My Dear Shi,

Always wonderful to receive your personal emails.  I feel as  though I am touched by grace and beauty to hear from you!  That poem came to me from a friend in Erie, and just as it says, anonymous.  I would like to think that the writer had such a humility of spirit, that gifting the reader was all that was needed. Let the magic happen! 

So, oh yes, I think you should use it in the next edition of Lovelight.  And, please put me on the subscription list for the magazine.  I do receive elovefamily-listserve [the uld], but not Lovelight.

Thank you for your steps in the healing of the planet.

Peace, love, joy right back,

Marcia

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GETTING SILLY: HUMORTHERAPY

LIBERAL IMMIGRATION, sent in by Chris Finer

From the Manitoba (Canada) Herald

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

"He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. ”They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps The President is determined to reach out," he said.

SMART-ALECKY ONE-LINERS, sent in by Ramon Abella

"Friends don't let friends take home ugly men." *** "At the Feast of Ego, Everyone goes home hunger." *** "It's hard to make a come-back when you haven't been anywhere." *** "If voting could really change things, it would be illegal."

FOLKWISDOM FROM WILL ROGERS, sent in by Ty Scharrer

Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known. Enjoy the following:

1. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.***2. Never miss a good chance to shut up.***

3. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.***4. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.***5. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.***6. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.***7. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

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HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE A COFFEE-ADDICT, sent in by Chris Finer

You answer the door before people knock.***Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you.***You ski uphill.***You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.***You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.***You lick your coffeepot clean.***Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.***Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."***You can jump-start your car without cables.***You don't need a hammer to pound nails.***Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."***You don't sweat; you percolate.***You buy Half & Half by the barrel.***You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.***You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.***You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.***You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.***You've worn the finish off your coffee table.***Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.***Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.***Instant coffee takes too long.***When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."***You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.***You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.***You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.***You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.***You don't tan, you roast.

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NO WONDER ELMO'S LAUGHING, sent in by Loretta Carrier

The factory makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it. A lady named Lena is hired there, and she reports for her first day. The next day, there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee: He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up. The 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there, the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor; they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of dolls. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. She cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and sews the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.

After several minutes, he pulls himself together and approaches
Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

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THE CYNICAL WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST, sent in by Chris Finer

She sits at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

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MARRIAGE SEMINAR, sent in by Chris Finer

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

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W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day-- 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason is because we have to repeat everything to men."
The husband said, "What?"

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WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we

won't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking, and you should

do it, because that is your job."
The wife replies, "It is in the Bible that the man

should do the coffee."
The husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened it to the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, "HEBREWS."

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Men are not equipped for emotional contests. God might have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

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CHOOSE WISELY, sent in by Ty Scharrer

A preacher had a teenage son, and it was time to choose a profession. The boy didn't know what he wanted to do.
While the boy was away, his father placed on his study table three objects: a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of whiskey.

"I'll see which object he picks up," he said. "If it's the Bible, a preacher; If the dollar, a businessman, the bottle, a no-good drunkard."
His son soon entered the room. He spotted the objects on the table. He walked over to inspect them.
He placed the Bible under his arm. He dropped the dollar into his pocket. He took a big drink from the bottle.
"Lord have mercy," the old man whispered, "he's gonna be a Republican Congressman!"

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GRANNY WITNESS sent in by Deb Riley,

In a trial, a southern small-town prosecutor called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Yes, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big  disappointment. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think 
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She replied, "Yes. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a  youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't hold onto a normal relationship with anyone; and his law practice is  one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women."

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me,  I'll send you to the electric chair."

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ADS FROM HELL, sent in by Ty Scharrer

The following are actual excerpts from classified sections of city-newspapers:

Illiterate? Write today for free help.***Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.***Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.***Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.***Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.***Stock up and save. Limit: one.***Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.***3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.***Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.***Dinner Special-Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.***For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.***Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.***We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.***For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.***Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.***Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.***Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.***Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

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EMAIL FROM GOD, sent in by Geoffrey Stoermer

One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the
rascally behavior that was going on. So he called one of his
angels and sent the angel to earth for a time.
When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth;
95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."

God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better
send down a second angel to get another opinion."
So God called another angel and sent him to earth for a time, too.  When

the angel returned he went to God and said,
"Yes, it's true. The earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving,
but 5% are being good."

God was not pleased. So he decided to email the 5% who
were good, because He wanted to encourage them, give
them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what the email said?

No?

Okay, just wondering. I didn't get one either.

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DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU READ IN EMAIL, sent in by Pat Goodman

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the

glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every

envelope that needs sealing.***Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.***I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.***I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.***I no longer have to worry about eating at Applebee's, since my $50

coupon will arrive soon.***I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.***I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks

with no eyes or feathers.***I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.***Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.***Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can

remove toilet stains.***I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.***I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper, since the people who make these

products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.***I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.***And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.***I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.***I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.***I no longer receive packages from ups or fedex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.***I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.***I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a

number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,

Singapore, and Uzbekistan.***I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.***I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman-Marcus since I now have their recipe.***Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death.***Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I

can live a better life now because he has told us how to fix everything.***And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.***Oh, and don't forget this one either: I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies.***If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician who knew someone that it may have happened to.

BIN-LADEN'S BAD KARMA, sent in by Ty Scharrer

While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a Bottle on a beach and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said "Master, may I grant you one wish?"
“You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything," barked Bin Laden.

The shocked genie said, "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever."

He thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said, "Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning. So just do it and be off with you!"

The annoyed genie said, "So be it!" and disappeared.

The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton. His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.

CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY, sent in by Karleen Sell

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite

her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time

the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more

amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained

to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man, who was about 20 years

Old, what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it

was like this:

When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.

She sat under a sweets sign that said: "The Double Mint Twins are Coming"

and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said: "Logan's

Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile! Then she placed

herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the

Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved

the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have

prevented this Accident".. I just lost it."

CASE DISMISSED.

AMAZING HOME REMEDIES, sent in by Mick Gallagher

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of

boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost

instantly removed.*** 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.*** 3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.*** 4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.*** 5. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will

forget all about the toothache.*** 6. Some people are like slinkies; they are not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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SOME FASCINATING STATE-FACTS, sent in by Chris Finer

What Makes Where You Live in the USA Special?

ALABAMA-- the first place to have 9-1-1, started in 1968.***ALASKA -- One out of every 64 people has a pilot's license.***ARIZONA-- the only state in the continental U.S. that doesn't follow Daylight Savings Time.***ARKANSAS has the only active diamond mine in the U.S.***CALIFORNIA-- Its economy is so large that if it were a country, it would rank seventh in the entire world.***COLORADO, in 1976, became the only state to turn down the Olympics.***CONNECTICUT-- The Frisbee was invented here at Yale University.***DELAWARE has more scientists and engineers than any other state.***FLORIDA-- At 759 square miles, Jacksonville is the U.S.'s largest city.***GEORGIA-- It was here, in 1886, that pharmacist John Pemberton made the first vat of Coca-Cola.***HAWAII-- Hawaiians live, on average, five years longer than residents in any other state.***IDAHO --Tv was invented in Rigby, Idaho, in 1922.***ILLINOIS-- The Chicago River is dyed green every St. Patrick's Day.***INDIANA-- Home to Santa Claus, Indiana, which gets a half million letters to Santa every year.***IOWA-- Winnebagos get their name from Winnebago County.  Also, it is the only state that begins with two vowels.***KANSAS-- Liberal, Kansas, has an exact replica of the house in The Wizard of Oz.***KENTUCKY has more than $6 billion in gold underneath Fort Knox.***LOUISIANA has parishes instead of counties because they were originally Spanish church units.***MAINE is so big, it covers as many square miles as the other five New England states combined.***MARYLAND-- The Ouija board was created in Baltimore in 1892.***MASSACHUSETTS-- The Fig Newton is named after Newton, Massachusetts.***MICHIGAN-- Fremont, home to Gerber, is the baby food capital of the world.***MINNESOTA-- Bloomington's Mall of America is so big, if you spent 10 minutes in each store, you'd be there nearly four days.***MISSISSIPPI-- President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear here; that's how the teddy bear got its name.***MISSOURI is the birthplace of the ice cream cone.***MONTANA-- A sapphire from Montana is one of the Crown Jewels of England.***NEBRASKA-- More triplets are born here than in any other state.***NEVADA has more hotel rooms than any other place in the world.***NEW HAMPSHIRE-- Birthplace of Tupperware, invented in 1938 by Earl Tupper.***NEW JERSEY has the most shopping malls in one area in the world.***NEW MEXICO-- Smokey the Bear was rescued from a 1950 forest fire here.***NEW YORK is home to the nation's oldest cattle ranch, started in 1747 in Montauk.***NORTH CAROLINA-- Home of the first Krispy Kreme doughnut.***NORTH DAKOTA-- Rigby, North Dakota, is the exact geographic center of North America.***OHIO-- The hot dog was invented here in 1900.***OKLAHOMA-- The grounds of the state capital are covered by operating oil wells.***OREGON has the most ghost towns in the country.***PENNSYLVANIA-- The smiley, :) was first used in 1980 by computer scientists at Carnegie Mellon University.***RHODE ISLAND-- The nation's oldest bar, the White Horse Tavern, opened here in 1673.***SOUTH CAROLINA-- Sumter County is home to the world's largest gingko farm.***SOUTH DAKOTA is the only state that's never had an earthquake.***TENNESSEE-- Nashville's Grand Ole Opry is the longest running live radio show in the world.***TEXAS-- Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885.***UTAH-- The first Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant opened here in 1952.***VERMONT-- Montpelier is the only state capital without a McDonald's.***VIRGINIA-- Home of the world's largest office building, the Pentagon.***WASHINGTON has twice as many college graduates as any other state.***WASHINGTON, D.C. was the first planned capital in the world.***WEST VIRGINIA had the world's first brick paved street, Summers Street, laid in Charleston in 1870.***WISCONSIN-- The ice cream sundae was invented here in 1881 to get around Blue Laws prohibiting ice cream from being sold on Sundays.***WYOMING was the first state to allow women to vote.

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LITTLE THINGS, NOT SO SMALL, sent in by Maureen Dwyer

As you might know, the head of a company survived 9/11 because his son started kindergarten.***Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.***One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.***One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an auto accident.***One of them missed his bus.***One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.***One's car wouldn't start.***One went back to answer the telephone.***One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon as he should have.***One couldn't get a taxi.***The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work; but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.

Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone-- all the little things that annoy me-- I think to myself, "This is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment."

Next time your morning seems to be going wrong, the children are slow getting dressed, you can't seem to find the car keys, you hit every traffic light, don't get mad or frustrated; God is at work. May God continue to bless you with all those annoying little things and may you remember their possible purpose.

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PROFOUND WORDS, sent in by Chris Finer

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 ***

The best effort of a fine person is felt after we have left their presence.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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    "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him

absolutely no good."-- Samuel Johnson

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"Reason and free inquiry are the only effectual agents against error."-- Thomas Jefferson

***

"The greatest wisdom is in simplicity. Love, respect, tolerance, sharing, gratitude, forgiveness. It's not complex or elaborate. The real knowledge is free. It's encoded in your DNA. All you need is within you. Great teachers have said that from the beginning. Find your heart, and you will find your way."-- Unknown

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APPLIANCES OFF!, sent in by Karleen Sell

Do appliances, TVs and computers use energy when they are off but plugged in? Many appliances draw energy even when "turned off." There's even a name for

it: phantom load. It is estimated that the power wasted in phantom loads in the United States costs Americans $1 billion a year. Appliances with remote controls, clocks,

timers, instant-on features and microprocessors are some of the main culprits. It isn't always convenient to unplug all appliances every time you turn them

off, but here are a few tips:

1. Make a family habit of unplugging appliances when you go on a trip or

vacation.

2. If possible, choose appliances without a built-in clock or timer. In all

cases, choose appliances with the Energy Star logo.

3. Use a power strip for your tv's, computers, and cd and dvd players. This

is an easier way to cut power without reaching around furniture to find the outlets.

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HEALING WITH THE TAO: THE SIX HEALING SOUNDS, sent in by Geoffrey Stoermer

1. Lungs exercise-  related planet  Venus

Negative states and emotions:  Sadness, grief and depression

Positive emotions: Courage and strength

Sound:  SSSSSSSSS (softly like steam escaping from a radiator)

Stagnant chi color: Grey    Healthy chi color: White

Position:  Sitting upright in a chair close your eyes, relax and let mind and attention sink into the lungs. Take a deep breath and lift the arms above the head and turn palms upward towards the ceiling.  With EYES OPEN exhale the sound, "SSSSSSS" and imagine all the stagnant chi exiting your lungs. Imagine the cloudy stagnant "chi"  exiting with the sound. When you have exhaled completely bring your hands down so palms rest lightly on knees. Smile and bring that smile down to your lungs and visualize a pure white light and feelings of courage and strength filling your lungs. Mentally say the words "courage" and "strength" inside the lungs several times slowly. Feel those qualities being invoked by the words. Each healing sound exercise should be done 3 to 6 times daily.

2. Kidneys exercise- related planet, Mercury

Negative emotions: fear.  Positive emotions: gentleness

Sound: Blowing out a candle with pursed lips and a long exhale.

Stagnant chi color: muddy, murky blue   Healthy chi color: vibrant sky-blue.

Position: Become aware of the kidneys. Place legs together with knees touching. Raise hands in front of you and clasp the thumb of one hand with the opposite hand. Take a deep breath in and bend forward placing your thumb clasped hands around your knees.  Pull them towards your slightly arch back.  Look ahead with eyes open. Make a small hole through puckered lips to exhale the sound "WHOooooooo". Imagine the stagnant chi exiting with correlating sound.  When you have exhaled completely, sit upright, close eyes and rest hands on your lap. Smile and bring that smile down to your kidneys and imagine a vibrant sky-blue and feelings of gentleness filling your kidneys.  From your kidneys, hear them say "gentleness" several times.  Do this 3 to 6 times daily.

3. Liver exercise.  relating planet, Jupiter

Negative emotions: anger and aggression   Positive emotions: kindness.

Sound:  SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (softly)  Stagnant chi color: sickly green

Healthy chi color:  Emerald Green

Position:  Become aware of the liver. It sits on your right side at the edge of the ribs and downward. Take a deep breath as you slowly swing your arms upward over the head.  Interlace fingers and turn palms upward to face the ceiling.  Bend slightly to the left, exerting a gentle pull on the liver. Looking with eyes open, exhale the sound, "SHHHHHHHH" and imagine the stale chi exiting the liver.  When you have exhaled completely return hands to rest on your lap with palms facing up. Close your eyes and smile down to the liver. Visualize a vibrant emerald green and the feeling of kindness filling your liver. Have your liver say, "kindness"   Do this 3 to 6 times daily. 

4. Heart exercise.  related planet is Mars.

Negative emotions:  impatience, arrogance and cruelty.

Positive emotions: love, joy and happiness.

Sound:  HAWWWWWWWW  

Stagnant chi color: brown

Healthy chi color:  ruby or rose red

Position:  Become aware of the heart. Take a deep breath and assume the same position as in the Liver exercise, but tilt slightly to the right. Exhale the sound, "HAWWWWWWW". Imagine the stagnant chi (murky color)  exiting the heart.  Expel any negative feeling sensation.  When you have exhaled completely, return hands to rest in lap with palms facing up.  Close your eyes and smile down to your heart. Visualize a deep ruby red color and the feelings of love, joy and happiness filling your heart. Hear your heart saying love, joy, happiness.   Do this 3 to 6 times a day.

5. Spleen exercise.  Related planet is Saturn

Negative emotions: worry, imbalance, self-pity, insecurity.

Positive emotions: balance, safety, centeredness and self-acceptance

Sound:  WHOOOOOOOOOOOO ( like wind whistling through the eaves or an owl hooting with a slight whistle)

Stagnant chi color: milky brown   Healthy chi color: sunshine yellow or daffodil yellow.

Position: Become aware of the spleen. It is opposite the liver, on your left side. Take a deep breath and exhale with a "WHOOOOOOO" as you imagine all the stagnant chi (milky brown color) exiting the spleen.  When you have exhaled completely, close your eyes and smile down to the spleen, pancreas and stomach. Smile and have it go down to the area and visualize a bright happy yellow color and hear the area say, balance, safety, centeredness and self-acceptance filling your spleen area.  Do this 3 to 6 times daily.

6. Blending the energy from all organs throughout the body.

Sound: HEEEEEEEEEE

Position: Lie down flat on your back and relax deeply.  With eyes closed take a deep breath and softly exhale the sound "HEEEEEEE". Imagine a large lawn roller rolling your body paper thin flat from the top of your head, right down to your feet. Do this 3 to  6 times. Excellent cure for insomnia and can be done before falling asleep.

Please note: The instructions suggest that your learn Exercise #1 first and when you can do it without thinking about it, progress to #2. Continue in this manner, adding exercises only when you can do the preceding ones from memory. At the end of a week you should be able to do them without referring to these notes. 

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MOTIVATING INCENTIVES, sent in by Pat Fields

So much sadness exists in the world that we are all under obligation to contribute as much joy as lies within our powers. -- John Sutherland Bonnell (1893-1992)

It is good to love as many things as one can, for therein lies true strength, and those who love much, do much and accomplish much, and whatever is done with love is done well. --Vincent van Gogh (1853–1890)

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STRESS-MANAGEMENT, sent in by Geoffrey Stoermer

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "Hw heavy is this glass of water? "

Answers: called out ranged from 8oz. to 20oz.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. t depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

"In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. "

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. "

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work/life down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. "

THE CONCERT, sent in by Geoffrey Stoermer

When the house lights dimmed and the concert  was about to begin, the mother
returned to her seat and discovered that the child was suddenly missing.

Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway
on stage.

In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard, innocently
picking out  "Twinkle,Twinkle Little Star."

At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the
piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit." "Keep playing."

Then, leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling
in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child,
and he added a running obligatio.

Together, the old master and the young novice transformed what could have been              a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience.

The audience was so mesmerized that they couldn't recall what else the great    .     .            master played. Only the classic,  " Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

Perhaps that's the way it is with God.  What we can accomplish on our own is hardly
noteworthy. We try our best, but the results aren't always graceful flowing music. 

However, with the  hand of the Master, our life's work can truly be beautiful.

The next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully. You may hear the

voice of the  Master, whispering in your ear, "Don't quit." "Keep playing."

May you feel Her arms around you and know that Her hands are there, helping you
turn your feeble attempts into true masterpieces.

Remember, God doesn't  seem to call the equipped, rather, She equips  the 'called.'

Life is more accurately measured by the lives you touch than by the things you                  acquire. So touch someone by passing this little message along. May God bless

you and be with you always and  remember  "Don't quit."   "Keep
playing." It's the Goddess' delight that we play in this playworld. So have fun!

BEWARE THIS CREDIT CARD SCAM, sent in by Chris Finer

This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU with all the
information, except the one piece they want.
Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; they already have it.
This information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA
and MasterCard Telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'll be better prepared
to protect yourself.

One of our employees was called on Wednesday from "VISA", and I was
called on Thursday from "Master Card". The scam works like this: the person

calling says, "This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA. My Badge number is 12460. Your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify. This would be on your VISA card which was
issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device
for $497.99 from a Marketing company based in Arizona?" When you say
"No", the caller continues with, "Then we will be issuing a credit to
your account. This is a company we have been watching and the charges
range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is
that correct?"

You say "yes". The caller continues, "I will be starting a Fraud
investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1- 800
number listed on the back of your card (1-800-VISA) and ask for
Security. You will need to refer to this Control Number. The caller then gives you
a 6 digit number. "Do you need me to read it again?"

Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works. The caller then says,
"I need to verify you are in possession of your card". He'll ask you to
"turn your card over and look for some numbers". There are 7 numbers;
the first 4 are part of your card number, the next 3 are the security
numbers' that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are the
numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have
the card. The caller will ask you to read the 3 numbers to him. After
you tell the caller the 3 numbers, he'll say, "That is correct, I just
needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you
still have your card. Do you have any other questions?" After you say
no, the caller then thanks you and states, "Don't hesitate to call back
if you do", and hangs up.

You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the
card number. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back
within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we glad we did! The REAL VISA
Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a
new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card.

Long story short: we made a real fraud report and closed the VISA
account. VISA is reissuing us a new number. What the scammers want is
the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card. Don't give it to them.
Instead, tell them you'll call VISA or Master card directly for
verification of their conversation. The real VISA told us that they will
never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information
since they issued the card! If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number,

you think you're receiving a credit. However, by the time you get your statement
you'll see charges for purchases you didn't make, and by then it's
almost too late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report.

What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a
"Jason Richardson of Master Card" with a word-for-word repeat of the
VISA scam. This time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a
police report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking
several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we
know that this scam is happening.

Please pass this on to all your family and friends. By informing each
other, we protect each other.

From "Green Tips" August 2006 issue

How Good Is Organic Milk?

Milk is the most popular organic product on the market, commanding up to twice the price of regular milk. Yet the idyllic vision many people have of organic dairy farms—and organic milk’s environmental benefits—is often not the reality.

An increasing amount of milk that is certified organic under current USDA standards is produced by cows that spend most of their lives in crowded feedlots. These “factory” farms generate tons of manure that pollute the air and water, posing risks to the environment, farm workers, and nearby residents. What’s worse, some of the country’s largest organic milk producers are fighting to weaken USDA standards.

So what’s a milk lover to do? Here are several strategies for ensuring your organic milk is actually better for cows, farmers, and the environment:

• Buy local. Smaller, family-run farms often employ organic practices or are certified organic. Farmer’s markets are a good place to find such farmers, even if they are not selling milk at the market. To be sure they are following best practices, ask whether they administer growth hormones or antibiotics to their cows, and whether they use pesticides on their pastures.
• Check the scorecard. Find out how 68 different organic dairy brands and products stacked up in a survey conducted by the nonprofit Cornucopia Institute, which rated brands based on the parent company’s production and purchasing practices (see Related Links).

What about grass-fed? A growing number of dairy farmers are raising their cattle mainly on pasture, rather than the grain-based diet typical of feedlots. A recent Union of Concerned Scientists (UCS) report shows that pasture grazing is not only less damaging to the environment than feedlot operations, but also produces milk that contains higher levels of fats that may confer health benefits to humans. There are currently no labeling standards for grass-fed dairy products, so the best way to find them is by speaking with local farmers or searching various online directories (see Related Links).

It is important to note, however, that grass-fed cattle do not necessarily meet organic standards (or vice versa). UCS and other organizations are advocating that farms that are now organic also become pasture-based.

From Organic Consumers' Association

GENETICALLY ENGINEERED CORN PRODUCING HERBICIDES IN YOUR GUT?

A widely cultivated variety of genetically engineered corn may be slowly poisoning American consumers. Dupont's Pioneer Liberty Link corn was bioengineered to withstand high levels of the toxic herbicide glufosinate. Enzymes in the plant actually break down the herbicide, making it less toxic to the plant, thereby allowing farmers to apply higher levels of herbicides to the plant and surrounding weeds.  Scientists are now finding that enzymes in the human gut are likely "reactivating" the herbicide within our bodies. A recent study on rats found that 10% of the chemicals were reconverted back to the toxic herbicide within the digestive tract of the animal. Another study on goats found a full 30% of the herbicide was rebuilt in the gut.  Glufosinate is known to cause nerve damage and is a likely endocrine disruptor. Scientists are also concerned that by reactivating the toxic chemical in the digestive tract, it is likely killing off beneficial bacteria necessary for healthy digestion.