LOVELIGHT
magazine
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September 2009***Vol, 5, no. 9
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Editors: a Franciscan Taoist and Adamaria Francis
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Special acknowledgement of, and sincere thanks to, the following people, who donated to this issue (our staff): Anonymous, Barbara Baty, Jim Dwyer, Chris Finer, Michael Gallagher, and Ty Scharrer
LOVELIGHT MAGAZINE: WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT
Lovelight magazine is free, coming to your inboxscreen monthly, to announce the beauty of Love! And we love to laugh!:) So, if you discover any good chuckles, please send them along!:) But no bigoted, prejudiced, scatological, geruntological, low-quality, or poor-taste humor, please.
Still, life is not all laughs. So, we hope also to share happy thoughts. Lovelight wants to promote harmony among all people, all over the world, and to aid you to feel good!:) If you are working on any religious, psychological, or spiritual issues, we encourage you to read the ezine, and to write to us at rmfrancis@juno.com
Also, if you come across any wise or touching pieces, not copyrighted, fairly short, please share them with us! Also welcome are good jokes, practical tips, short pieces on personal philosophies, interesting facts, wordplays, and general spirituality (but no "preachy" dogma, please.:). We reserve the right to make whatever changes we deem necessary or desirable before inclusion in Lovelight.
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This is "light" reading. And it is also great, fun reading. A collection of magazines is produced once a year. We have published four volumes (2004-2007), and this would make a sweet gift for a loved one. Happy reading!:)
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FOOD ALL GONE IN 2009? FARMERS NOT PLANTING!, sent in by Jim Dwyer
I had a conversation with a family member who lives in north central Missouri. We were discussing the "signs of the times." What he said was thought-provoking and made me think. His friend/neighbor works for an agricultural supply company that furnishes fertilizer, pesticides, and the next season's crop seeds to most of the farmers throughout his region there in Missouri.
According to his friend, business at his company should be going full throttle right now, they'll do 80% of their business in a four month time frame. But right now, their business is DEAD. When the orders didn't start coming in at the end of Feb. like they usually do in years past, the company called the farmers to see when they were going to start ordering. They got the same answer from almost everyone, THEY WOULDN'T BE PLANTING THIS YEAR.
The agricultural supply company's business IS DOWN 85% over the same time last year, the farmers can't get credit from the banks to buy their seed and supplies for the beginning of the growing season. If this problem is typical across the country then the horse manure will be hitting the fan THIS YEAR. I'd like to get a sense of what's going on in other parts of the country and see whether this credit problem is regional or national in scope. I'm hoping members of the forum can check in their local areas to see what's happening.
My relative's friend said that there is typically a 6-8 week lag time between ordering these supplies then getting them in and then out to the farmers. If the credit backup broke loose tomorrow, they could still get most of the supplies in and out to the farmers by the end of the planting season. But if the problem persists for another 30 days or more, then forget it. This season will be toast as far as the food supply is concerned.
With all the talk in recent months about drought, floods, cold weather, wheat rust, false smut, and the like, I never considered the fact that perhaps the single biggest threat to our food supply would be the lack of credit.
I posed this on another cyberthread a few days ago. Add to
this the current world food storage supply which has been severely depleted and
we are talking disaster here. The writing is on the wall. If building up your
food storage is not your primary goal this year, then you are just plain nuts.
One of my best friends tells me of another of her friends-- they own and supply about half of the dairy to the Las Vegas area. The Government is forcing them to sell their milk at a certain price which does not cover their expenses. They are about bankrupt. When they finally do go bankrupt the Government plans on taking over their business.
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THE JULY 2009 AND
THE AUGUST 2009 ISSUES OF LOVELIGHT MAGAZINE
It
is with deep sincerity and profound regret that this apology is written. But sadly, there were no July or August
issues of Lovellight magazine this year. For the managing editor, franciscantaoist,
actually died. Happily, several
hours later, he did return to this world, and is again editing actively. This is the third time in this life
that this author has left our world, but this time, the experience was largely
only one of missing time.
On June 16, he underwent a
kidney-transplant, thanks to the ultimate goodness (Love) and generosity of his
sweet sister Sandi Grubb. Recovery
is still occurring, and is a rather lengthy process. Fullest and complete recovery might yet take another couple
of months. (Gatherings at the
Pneumarium Love Center will be open to the public on September 13.) All signs indicate that he is on his
way back! J
WHO KNEW? HANDY AND
USEFUL FACTOIDS, sent in by Barbara Baty
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MEMORIAL PLAQUE, sent in by Barbara Baty
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One Sunday morning,
the priest noticed that ten-year-old Anthony was staring up at the large
plaque that hung in the foyer. The
plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on
either side. The boy had been staring for some
time, so the priest said quietly, "It's a memorial to all the young men
and women who died in the service." Anthony asked,
"Which service, the 9:00 or the 10:30?" *** *** |
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ITALIAN
GOLFER, sent in by Jim Dwyer A 70-year-old Italian, Art Rivaldo, goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, "How do you stay in such great physical condition?" "I'm Italian and I am a golfer," said the old guy, "and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and go up and down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well."
"Well," said the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but
there's got to be more to "Who said my Father's dead?"
The doctor was amazed. "You mean you're 70 years old and your Father's still "He's 90 years old,' said the old Italian golfer. "In fact, he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little vino and that's why he's still alive. He's Italian and he's a golfer, too."
The doctor said, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it
than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?"
Stunned, the doctor asked, "you mean you're 70 years old and your
The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "So, I
guess he went
"No, Nono couldn't go this morning because he's getting married
today." "Who said he wanted to?" *** |
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FUNNY COURT-EXCHANGES, sent in by Michael Gallagher
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DEFINITIONS
sent in by Barbara Baty,
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HEALTH-CARE,
sent in by Jim Dwyer
Bubba Had Shingles
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office
should appreciate this. Bubba
walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said shingles. So she wrote down his name, address, and medical insurance
number; she told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later, a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he
had. Bubba said shingles. So she
wrote down his height, weight, a complete
medical history, and told Bubba to
wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in
and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba
said shingles. So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a
blood pressure
test, an electrocardiogram, and
told Bubba to take off all his clothes and
wait for the doctor.
An hour later, the doctor came in
and found Bubba sitting patiently in the
nude and asked
Bubba what he had. Bubba said
shingles. The doctor
asked, Where?
Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck.
Where do you want me to unload 'em?
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WASP SPRAY VS.
PEPPER SPRAY, sent in
by Jim Dwyer
I have a friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high
risk area
who was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob
her when she was counting the collection. She asked the local police
department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that
she get a can of wasp spray instead. The wasp spray, they told her, can
shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the
pepper spray they have to get too close to you and could
overpower you.
The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until he gets to the
hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and
it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray
would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection.
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QUOTABLE QUOTES,
sent in by Barbara Baty
What is man without the beasts? If all the beasts were
gone, men would die from great loneliness of spirit, for whatever happens to
the beasts also happens to man. All things are connected. Whatever befalls the earth befalls the children of the earth.
-- Chief Seattle
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Suqwamish and Duwamish
No tribe has the right to sell, even to each other, much less to strangers. . .
. a country! Why not sell
the air, the great sea, as well as the earth? Didn't the Great Spirit
make them all for the use of his children?
-- Tecumseh
Shawnee
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SIXTEEN THINGS
IT TOOK ME FIFTY YEARS TO LEARN, sent in by Jim Dwyer
1. Never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.***If you had to
identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and
never will achieve its full potential, that word would
be 'meetings.' There is a very fine line between "hobby"
and "mental illness".***People who want to share their religious views
with you almost never want you to share yours with them.***You should not
confuse your career with your life.***Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.***Never lick a steak knife.***The most destructive force
in the universe is gossip.***You will never find anybody who can give you a
clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.***You should
never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's
pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.***There
comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal
about your birthday. That time is
age eleven.***The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down, we
ALL believe that we are above average drivers.***A person who is nice to you
but rude to a waiter is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)*** Your friends love you anyway.***Never be
afraid to try something new. Remember
that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.***Men are
like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women
to stomp the crap out of them
until they turn into something acceptable to
have dinner with.
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EIGHT TOXIC
PERSONALITIES, sent in by Jim Dwyer
Although we like to think that the
people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we
sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where
I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and
BAM!, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of
my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.
Maybe you are a positive person,
but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you
have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you
are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself
in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are
around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.
Some of these situations, and yes,
these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And,
although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite
frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental
outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives.
They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespans.
Here are the worst of the toxic
personalities out there and how to spot them:
1. Manipulative Mary: These
individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may
not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These
individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they
want.
a.. Why they are toxic: These
people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They
find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and
before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities
and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden
becomes centered around her needs and her priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These
people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world
revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of
the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met.
You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."
a.. Why they are toxic: They are
solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left
disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to
focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people
can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful
day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them
you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to
be.
a.. Why they are toxic: They take
the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed
with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you
start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see
things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you
find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them threatening, and
call them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it
'disturbing' or 'bad'.
a.. Why they are toxic: Judgmental
people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment
is so over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring.
Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a
judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every
time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you
achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell
you it is impossible.
a.. Why they are toxic: These
people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these
individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress
and change can occur only from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the
impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being
sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel
depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell
them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
a.. Why they are toxic: People who
aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless
relationships. When you are really
in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive
criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When
you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7.
Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most
inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are
more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided
in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts her busy-body nose into
your affairs when it is none of her business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who
says demeaning things to you.
a.. Why they are toxic: These
people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that
matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and
disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them
happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They
find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything
themselves.
a.. Why they
are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end
up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and
energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
b.. All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these
people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2)
Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as
a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you
wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age,
making their impact on you stronger with time.
Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you
can, avoid spending much time with people who are indicative of these behaviors
and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What
have you done?
***
BABY CARROTS,
sent in by Chris Finer
The following is information from a farmer who grows and
packages carrots for IGA, METRO, LOBLAWS, etc. The small cocktail (baby) carrots you buy in small plastic
bags are made using the larger crooked or deformed carrots which are put
through a machine which cuts and shapes them into cocktail carrots -
Most people probably know this already. What you may not know and should
know is the following: Once the carrots are cut and shaped into
cocktail carrots they are dipped in a solution of water and Chlorine in
order to preserve them (this is the same chlorine used in your pool).
Since they do not have their skin or natural protective covering, they give
them a higher dose of chlorine.
You will notice that once you keep these carrots in your refrigerator for
a few
days, a white covering will form on the carrots. This is the
chlorine which resurfaces. At
what cost do we put our health at risk to have esthetically pleasing
vegetables? Chlorine is a very well-known carcinogen, which causes
Cancer.
***
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Freedom
from Cult-psychology:
For me, it's all about freedom. I am 26 years old and have never felt free.
Ever. Here are my 10 things:
1. Freedom to accept people as they are and to respect their point of view
without feeling obligated to tear it down.
2. Freedom to set my own priorities in my life.
3. Freedom to appreciate wonderful, loving gay people and respect their
relationships as wholesome and worthy.
4. Freedom to use my Saturday mornings as I see fit.
5. Freedom to get my college degree without feeling ashamed of my untheocratic
reliance on Satan's world.
6. Freedom to laugh at what I think is funny, not worrying about whether it is
chaste, of serious concern, etc.
7. Freedom to learn about the viewpoints that I was never allowed to investigate
for myself before.
8. Freedom to think for myself as it relates to morality and spirituality.
9. Freedom to wear what I deem to be attractive, presentable and appropriate.
10. Freedom to accept lunch invitations from co-workers who really want to get
to know me.
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HEART ATTACK
INFORMATION, sent in by Jim
Dwyer
There are other symptoms of a heart attack besides the pain
on the
left arm. One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as
well as
nausea and lots of sweating, however these symptoms may also occur less
frequently. Note: There may be no pain in the chest during a heart
attack.
The majority of people (about 60%) who had a heart attack during
their sleep, did not wake up. However, if it occurs, the chest pain might
wake you up from your deep sleep. If that happens, immediately dissolve
two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water.
Afterwards phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by and
say "heart attack!". Say
that you have taken two aspirins, take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front
door, and wait for their arrival and do NOT lie down!
A Cardiologist has stated that, if each person, after receiving this e-mail,
sends it to 10 people, probably one life can be saved!
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WISDOM TO
CONSIDER, sent in by Jim Dwyer
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer,
Cleveland , Ohio
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
Life isn't fair, but it's still good.***When in doubt, just take the next
small step.***Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.***Your job won't
take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.***Pay off your credit cards every month.***You
don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.*** Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying
alone.***It's okay to get angry with God. She can take it.***Save for retirement starting with your
first paycheck.***When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.***Make
peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.***It's OK to let your
children see you cry.***Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea
what their journey is all about.***If a relationship has to be a secret, you
shouldn't be in it.***Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.***Take
a deep breath. It calms the
mind.***Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.***Whatever
doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.***It's never too late to have a
happy childhood. But the second
one is up to you and no one else.***When it comes to going after what you love
in life, don't take no for an answer.***Burn the candles, use the nice sheets,
wear the fancy lingerie. Don't
save them for a special occasion. Today is special.***Over prepare, then go with the flow.***Be
eccentric now. Don't wait for old
age to wear purple.***The most important sex organ is the brain.***No one is in
charge of your happiness but you.***Frame every so-called disaster with these
words "In five years, will this matter?"***Always choose life.***Forgive
everyone everything.***What other people think of you is none of your business.***Time
heals almost everything. Give time
time.***However good or bad a situation is, it will change.***Don't take
yourself so seriously. No one else
does.***Believe in miracles.***God loves you because of who God is, not because
of anything you did or didn't do.***Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.***Growing
old, from an earthly prospect, beats the alternative -- dying young.***Children
get only one childhood.***All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.***Get
outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.***If we all threw our
problems in a pile and saw everyone elseÕs, weÕd grab ours back.***Envy is a
waste of time. You already have
all that you need.***The best is yet to come.***No matter how you feel, get up,
dress up, and show up.***Yield.***Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a
gift.
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MAKING SENSE OF
THE ECONOMIC MESS, sent in by Ty Scharrer
Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit. She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar. To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.
She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans). Word gets around about Heidi's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in Detroit.
By providing her customers' freedom from immediate payment demands, Heidi gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages. Consequently, Heidi's gross sales volume increases massively.
A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets; and so, he increases Heidi's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral.
At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then bundled and traded on international security markets. Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics.
Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb, and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.
One day, even though the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar. He so informs Heidi.
Heidi then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but, being unemployed alcoholics, they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Since Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations, she is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes and the eleven employees lose their jobs.
Overnight, DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS drop in price by 90%. The collapsed bond asset value destroys the banks liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.
The suppliers of Heidi's bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the various BOND securities. They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds. Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.
Fortunately ,though, the bank, the brokerage houses, and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multi-billion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from the Government. The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers.
Now, do you understand?-- author unknown
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A SPECIAL
NOTICE TO OUR SPECIAL ANGELFRIENDS
Dearest Barb, Jim, and other special readers:
As you can tell, we are back in business!:) So, starting in October (actually, starting right now), we will be on the lookout for those fascinating, cute, funny, charming pieces that you so love to send to the magazine. So, we look forward to once again receiving those lists, jokes, practical tips, and other items that you so kindly send to share with our efamily. Thanks very much in advance, dearest friends, for your kindness in keeping us in mind!
Love always,
A Franciscan Taoist and the staff of Lovelight magazine