LOVELIGHT
Magazine
*****
August 2007*** Vol. 4, no. 8
*****
Managing Editors: Richard Shining Thunder Francis and Ada
Maria Francis
*****
Contributors to this issue: Mary Butler, Jim Dwyer, Maureen Dwyer, Toni Essarhir, Pat Fields, Chris Finer,
Bill and Kathy Mormon, Kathy
Rice, Ty Scharrer, Geoffrey Stoermer.
*****
LOVELIGHT MAGAZINE:
WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT
Lovelight magazine is free, coming directly to your inboxscreen once a
month. We love to laugh.:) So, if you discover any jokes that make
you roar, please send them along to the efamily.:) But life is not all laughs. So, we hope also to share with you some pleasant and happy
thoughts.
Lovelight wants to promote peace and harmony, and to aid you. If you are working on any religious, psychological,
or spiritual issues, we encourage you to write to us at rmfrancis@juno.com
Also, if you come across any wise or touching pieces, not copyrighted,
fairly short, please share them with the efamily. Also welcome are practical tips, short pieces on personal
philosophies, interesting facts, wordplays, and general spirituality (but no
religion or "preachy" dogma, please.:). We reserve the right to make whatever changes we deem
necessary or desirable before inclusion in Lovelight.
As a subscriber, your email
name/address will not be shared.
Please share, send, or copy, this magazine, or any parts of it. Share it as widely as possible, with
all your friends, and all others.
Please use it on your
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please have friends send us their emailaddress and subscribe. Subscriptions are free.
This is a "light" introduction to spirituality. And it is also great, fun reading. A collection of magazines is produced
once a year. We have published
three volumes, and this would make a sweet gift for a loved one. Happy reading!:)
*****
*****
THREE MYSTERIES, sent in by Chris Finer
Please study
Carefully. The clues are so
blatant you will be kicking yourself if you miss them!
Please don't
look at the answers until you are sure you have all three right.
***
Mystery 1:
A man was found murdered Sunday morning. His wife immediately called
the police. They
questioned the wife and staff and got these answers:
The wife was sleeping.***The cook was preparing breakfast.***The
gardener was gathering vegetables.***The maid was getting the mail.***The
butler was polishing shoes in the pantry.***The police instantly arrested the
murderer. Who did it and how did
they know?
***
Mystery 2:
A man walks into his bathroom and shoots himself right
between the eyes,
using a real gun with real bullets. He walks out alive, with no blood
anywhere and no, he didn't miss and he wasn't Superman or any other crusader
wearing a cape. How did he do
this?
***
Mystery 3:
Old Mr. Teddy was found dead in his study by Mr. Fiend. Mr. Fiend recounted his dismal discovery
to the police: "I was walking
by Mr. Teddy's house when I thought I would just pop in for a visit. I noticed that his study light was on
and I decided to peek in from the outside to see if he was in there. There was
frost on the window, so I had to wipe it away to see inside. That is when I saw
his body. So I kicked in the front
door to confirm my suspicions of foul play. I called the police immediately afterward."
The officer
immediately arrested Mr. Fiend for the murder of Mr.Teddy. How
did he know Mr. Fiend was lying?
***
ANSWERS:
1. It was the Maid. She said she was getting the mail but
there is no mail delivery on Sunday.***2. He shot his reflection in the bathroom
mirror.***3 Frost forms inside of the window, not the outside. So Mr. Fiend
could not have wiped it off to discover Mr. Teddy's body.
*****
*****
LOVELETTERS FROM OUR BUDS, PALS, AND FRIENDS
From Toni Essarhir (Soncirae):
7/10/07 Tuesday AM
Hey Richard,
These individuals [mentioned in your eletter] are they a
match for your blood-type? I don't know my blood-type but I would be willing to
take a test to see if I would be a
possible match too just in case you need another individual
to step up.
What process is involved to find out?
Let me know if you and Maria need anything?
God Bless and Take care.
***
From Kathy Rice:
Dearest shi and Adamaria,
Though each moment, in each day, of each month, in each year
is one of a
kind and never to be repeated again, this day seems so
magical being
07-07-07. I
love it when life provides special little reminders to awaken
our amazement and awe in just how special our time is on
this tiny blue
marble. It
feels like all the planets are aligned and life is welcoming us
into a new era.
On this special day I vow again to live my life in Love
through each
thought, word, and deed. No matter what the awesome roller-coaster of life
brings my way, I will remember to breathe in Love, I will
center myself in
Love, and I will come from a place of Love, so only Love
shines through in
everything I do.
I pray for our world and all its people, I pray for the
awakening that this day can bring-- an awakening in each of
us to Love's
truth.
ÉAll you need is Love-- truly!
Thank You God; Compassionate Wisdom; Unconditional Love;
Divine Peace;
Eternal Patience; Everlasting Generosity; Cosmic Law; Thank
You Intelligent
Essence pervading in, through, around and beyond all
creation; Absolute
Energy transmuting thought into life; Thank you LOVE!!!
May this incredible Love Energy pour over you Richard,
bathing your entire
body in Its Healing Light, awakening every cell within your
donkey to Its
Divinity and Perfection, and as every fiber of your being
awakens to Its
Knowingness, a chain reaction occurs, healing any damaged
cells,
eliminating any disease, vibrating at the speed of light to
bring your body
into Perfect Balance, Health and Wholeness, Blessing you in
All ways.
Have a Magnificent day my Dear shi! Please tell Adamaria I'm sending her
loving thoughts for Love, Energy, and Peace of Mind.
Mega Bunches of Silvery Shining Love
***,
From Maribee Butler:
Dearest Richard,
Sally [pseudonym] is a friend that wants to meet you.
She is in her sixties and graduated this June with a bachelors degree she
intends to use counseling geriatric patients. At the end of July she will
be moving to North or South Carolina to continue her education with a Master's
degreeÉ. When she calls (today or tomorrow) we are hoping to make a plan
to come to the buttercup bungalowÉ. Do you and Adamaria have a preference
between Tuesday or Thursday?...
Thank you for sharing Shirley's and another friend's loving
willingness to give you a kidney. How uplifting! It would be a privilege
to be option "c."É
Yes, it was quite a surprise to find so much genuine love in
our world. Being in physical crisis was, in that sense, a gift beyond
measure. Just as you described-- there was an awareness of being
surrounded by Love so tangible, it could be felt in meditation. It was
like being pelted, softly, with healing that was absorbed into my being.
I will carry into the next world, and any beyond, that profoundly powerful
sensation.
You are cherished, my friend,
***
Reply to Maribee:
063007sat
Dear Maribee,
I loved the utter positivity of your "healing"
letter, and will be delighted to share parts of it with the efamily in the
August 07 issue of Lovelight
magazine. What an extraordinary visualization you created.:)
Actually, the donkey is not worried. Nor is he
anxious. For he has been made very happy by the fact that two very lovely
ladies have stepped forward and volunteered to be donors. First,
Adamaria's sister Shirley, whom I have loved for many years, has so kindly and
compassionately offered. And now, a relatively new friend-- a canncersun,
Carol Lawson-- has also joined the project as "plan b."
How could anyone surrounded by such deep, such tender, Love
be anything but happy?:):) The Love of these superfriends is so powerful
that it is all but palpable.:) And the joy is increased greatly by the
Love expressed by your lovely visualization.:) Thank you, my dear
friend. Let's set up a come-together soon.:)
Love always,
*****
*****
CACKLES, CHHUCKLES, AND SNORTS: HUMORTHERAPY
TOP TEN
REASONS TO BE IRRELIGIOUS, sent in by Ty Scharrer:
10. No reason to listen to Christian contemporary music. Boy, does it suck!***9. Free to enjoy
real life and not worry about an imaginary afterlife. We infidels look forward to a bright
future for humankind and not to the destruction of the world in holy wars or
Armageddon.***8. Unbelievers can sleep-in on Sundays. Of course, we realize that most
self-proclaimed Christians also do this, but we don't have any guilt over
it.***7. No Bible (or other holy book) to fight about. We doubters don't have to spend an
inordinate amount of time defending ridiculous ideas, contradictions, and
atrocities from four thousand year old books.***6. Guilt Free Mocking of Pope
and other religious nuts. Religion has given the disbeliever a plethora of
wonderful characters and caricatures to deride and mock at will such as Pat
Robertson, the Nazi-youth Pope, george bush, and Fred Phelps.***5. SEX! Agnostics, atheists, and the
irreligious do not feel obligated to be ashamed of our natural human instincts
and biology. We can fully explore
our sexual feelings and selves.
And we can do it without any inappropriate guilt imposed by some
religious nut four thousand years ago.***4. No Rejection of Science and our own
intellect. The irreligious do not
have to ignore scientific evidence which demonstrates the falsehoods of
religious dogma. We are free to
explore our intellect without any 'blind spots' imposed by religion. I suppose
this is why the average atheist is smarter than the average believer.***3. The irreligious are in Great Company. Atheists and agnostics have always been
leaders in the advancement of humankind-- from primitive thinking to an
enlightened view. Here is a great list of famous atheists. Even if we
(atheists) are wrong, think of how much fun Hell is going to be! I am sure that
Mark Twain has swindled Beelzebub from power and Einstein and Thomas Edison
have probably worked out the whole Hellfire problem to achieve a climate not
unlike St Petersburg, Florida.***2. No Sky Daddy. Is there anything creepier than the idea of a "big daddy
in the sky," looking down at you at every moment? Or, even worse, your dead relatives
peeking in on your life at inopportune moments? We independent adults take responsibility for our own actions
and answer to our fellow man, not to some "Santa Claus" for adults.***1.
No Christians after the Rapture! This
is assuming that they are right, which is completely unlikely. But even so, could an atheist imagine a
better world than one in which all the 'true believers' were suddenly whisked
away to free the world of religious division and hatred? This would allow humankind to put our
efforts into improving the real world and this life for a change!
***
A
LETTER TO TY ABOUT THIS PIECE:
072307mon
Dear Ty,
You called this piece "religious humor," but it
made a number of very serious, and great, points to ponder. Almost every
freedom that you outline re the atheists, btw, is also a freedom that marks the
free (unaffiliated or non-religious) mystic. How do I know?
Because I am one, and have been one for many years. The independence of the mystic from all religions and dogmas
is breath-taking!
I used to be astonished at the density of those who called
me an "atheist," until I realized that they were "relatively
right." For, relative to their barbarian and bloody Jehovah, the
"big daddy in the sky," the common god of this culture, I was, and
remain, happily, a disbeliever, an "atheist"!:)
Liberation comes in many forms to many minds. Btw, I
have carefully studied Einstein, and do not believe that he was a true
atheist. He believed in an ordering Power and Principle (call it
"mathematics"; I call it Mind.)
You are right: Anyone who is free from the religious idiocy
and hideous corruption of religion, whether she be a free atheist or a free
mystic, is very lucky indeed! I would truly hope, however , that a wise
person would have the good sense not to confuse God (as Mind, as Love) with the
multiple horrors of religion!:)
Love, and Thanks,
***
DINNER, sent in by Jim Dwyer
A woman was accosted by a particularly dirty and
shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner. The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars, and
asked, "If I give you this
money, will you buy some chocolate with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop chocolate years ago," the homeless
woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?"
the woman asked.
"No, I don't
waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the
woman asked.
"Are you NUTS?!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you
the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner
with my hubby and myself tonight."
The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be
furious with you for doing that? I
know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a
woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and chocolate."
(Funny, but works hard for the punchline!:)
***
MORTGAGE HUMOR, sent in by Jim and Maureen Dwyer
A loan officer died and went up to St. Peter at the Pearly
Gates. Peter said, "You did a
lot of good helping people get into homes and you donated a lot to charity and
worked on that Habitat house.
But you told too many lies to the underwriters, and were unkind to
your processor. We aren't sure
where you are going to fit. So
we've decided to show you around both Heaven and hell and see where you feel
more comfortable."
As they toured Heaven, the loan officer really liked the big mansions and the streets paved with
gold, but the harp music got on his nerves.
Then, when they showed him around hell, he noticed everyone
had her choice of playing golf or
tennis, hanging out by the pool, smoking, drinking, or dancing and playing
cards in the clubhouse.
He told St. Peter, "Oh, this is going to be hard! Can I sleep on it?" So he was allowed to think it over
during the night.
The next morning they asked him for his decision. He quickly replied, "Oh please send
me to Hell!" So they opened
up the doors to Hell, but the whole picture had
changed: It was just like you have
always heard with fire and brimstone!
People were burning and being tortured and screaming!
"Hey, that's not what you showed me yesterday!!" the loan
officer
cried.
St. Peter's cold reply: "You should have locked-in
yesterday!"
(Again, amusing, but works far too hard for the punchline!:)
***
TOURISM Q &A, sent in by Ty Scharrer
These questions were posted on an Australian Tourism Website
and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who
obviously have a sense of humor.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on tv. How do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
watching them die.***
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
***
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney. Can I follow the railroad tracks?
(Sweden)
A: Sure. It's
only three thousand miles. Take
lots of water.
***
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?
(Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
***
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you
send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die from?
***
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of
Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which
does not... oh forget it. Sure,
the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
***
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll
send the rest of the directions.
***
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just
use your fingers like we do.
***
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering
Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every
Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
***
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
***
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available
all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan
hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
***
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can
dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come
from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
***
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but
I forget its name. It's a kind of
bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat
the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine
before you go out walking.
***
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
***
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of
youth. Can you tell me where I can
sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
***
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
***
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
***
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact
the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
***
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
***
SIGNS
OF THE TIMES, sent in by Chris Finer
On a
Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"***On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels."***On
an Electrician's truck: "Let
us remove your shorts."***At an Optometrist's Office : "If
you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."***On
a Taxidermist's window: "We
really know our stuff."***At a Car Dealership: "The best way
to get back on your feet-- miss a car payment."***In a
Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be
back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"***At the Electric Company :
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."***In the front yard of a Funeral Home
: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
***
CAN YOU HELP ME? ACTUAL CALLS TO A TECH-CENTER, sent in by Ty Scharrer
Samsung Electronics:
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"**Operator:
"I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."**Caller: "On
page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug
the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning.
Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"*****RAC Motoring Services: Caller: "Does your
European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?"**Operator: "Does
the product name give you a clue?"*****Caller (enquiring about legal
requirements while traveling in Europe):
"If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I
have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"*****Directory
Enquiries: Caller: "I'd
like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"**Operator: "I'm sorry,
there's no listing. Are you sure
that the spelling is correct?"**Caller: "Well, it used to be called
the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."
***
LAWYER
OUT OF TOUCH, sent in by Geoffrey Stoermer
One afternoon, a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he
saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop. And he got out to
investigate. He asked one man,
"Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed
you," the lawyer said.
""But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that
tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man, he stated, "You come with
us, too"
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife
and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no
easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,
"Sir, you are too kind. Thank
you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."
***
These People Are Running Our Country?, sent in by Chris Finer
A Washington, DC, airport ticket agent offers some
examples of why our country is in trouble:
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so
that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On
an airplane!)***2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who
wanted to go to Capetown. I started to Explain the length of the flight and
the passport information, then she interrupted me with,
"I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is
in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly
explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts. Capetown is in Africa." Her response: click.***3. A senior
Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation
in Orlando. He said that he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me.
I looked on the map and Florida
is a very thin state!"***4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked,
"Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look
so close on the map."***5. An aide for a cabinet member once called
and asked whether he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed
he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a
car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will
need a car to drive between gates to save time."***6. An Illinois
Congresswoman called last week. She needed
to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit
left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was
an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the
concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and
she bought that.***7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do
airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know
whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked
in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that
said 'FAT'. And I'm
overweight. I think that's very
rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked
into it (I was laughing). I came back and explained the city
code for Fresno, CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the
airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.***8. A
Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to
Hawaii. After going over all the
cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California,
and then take the train to Hawaii?"***9. I just got off the phone
with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to
get on?" I asked him
what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told
my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on
them."***10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly
to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little
computer planes?" I asked whether she meant Pensacola, Florida on a 'commuter' plane.
She said, "Yeah, whatever,
smarty!"***11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents
he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded
him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and
never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a
visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China
four times and every time they have accepted my American
Express!"***12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to
make reservations: "I
want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said,
"Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you
have?" replied the lady. After
some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am. I've looked up every airport
code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh,
don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and
finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply: "Whatever! I
knew it was a big animal."
***
WINDEX CURE, sent in by Ty Scharrer
Gator says: If
you sometimes get the sudden urge to run around naked. Drink some
Windex. It will keep you from streaking.
***
ENGLISH TO BE OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF EUROPEAN UNION, sent
in by Bill and Cathy Mormon
The European Commission has
just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of
the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the
British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement
and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as
"Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft
"c." Sertainly, this
will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of
"k." This should klear
up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one fewer letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm
in the sekond year
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f." This will make words like fotograf 20%
shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are
possible.
Governments will enkourage the
removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl
mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go
away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with
"v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary
"o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz
fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a
united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking
German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on
to oza pepl
*****
*****
THE 90 NUMBER ON YOUR TELEPHONE: BEWARE! sent in by Linda
Bartish
I dialed '0' and asked the operator.
She confirmed that this was correct so please
pass it on.
(I also checked out Snopes.com. This
is true, and also applies to cell phones!)
Please pass this on to everyone whom you know.
I received a call from a person identifying
himself as an AT&T service technician (could also be Telus) who was
conducting a test on the telephone
lines. He stated that to
complete the test I should touch nine(9), zero(0), the pound sign (#), and then
hang up.
Luckily,
I was suspicious and refused.
Upon contacting the telephone company, I was informed that by pushing 90#, you
give the requesting person full access to your telephone line, which enables him to place long distance
calls billed to your home phone
number.
I was further informed that this scam has been originating from many local
jails/prisons.
DO NOT press 90# for ANYONE!
The GTE Security Department requested that I share this information with
EVERYONE I KNOW.
After checking with Verizon they also said it was true, so do not dial 90# for
anyone!!!! PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!
*****
*****
LIFE
A MAGIC VASE, sent in by Pat Fields
"Life is a magic vase filled to the brim, so made that
you cannot dip from it or draw from it; but it overflows into the hand that
drops treasures into it. Drop in
malice, and it overflows hate; drop in charity and it overflows love."--
John Ruskin (1819-1900) Critic and social theorist
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PROTECT YOUR PRIVACY,
sent in by Chris Finer
We wanted you to be aware that Google has implemented a new
feature, Google Phonebook, which enables you to type a Telephone number into
the search bar, hit "enter," and be provided that person's Name and
Address. If you then hit the
MapQuest link, you will see a map to the person's house. Everyone should be aware of this! It's a nationwide reverse telephone
book.
If a child gives out his or her phone number, someone can now look it up to
find out where he/she lives. The
safety issues are obvious and alarming.
In order to test whether your phone number is mapped, go to Google at www.google.com , type your phone number in
the search bar, and press "enter." If you want to BLOCK Google from divulging your private
information, simply click on the "Results" for your telephone number,
click the "Request to have your name removed from this list" link,
and fill out the Removal Form. Removal takes approximately forty-eight hours.
Please share this information with friends and family.
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ENERGY TIPS, from Green Tips
Shopping for Energy Efficiency
July 2007
Read this
issue of Greentips online
Buying energy-efficient home appliances can go a long way
toward reducing your householdÕs electricity costs and contribution to global
warming. However, when faced with
manufacturersÕ claims about energy use and the jargon used on product labels,
it can be hard to determine which model will best meet your needs. Here is what to watch-- or watch out-- for:
Energy Star. This
designation and its now-familiar logo are awarded by the U.S. Department of
Energy and the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency to the most
energy-efficient products in more than 50 categories, including electronics,
appliances, lighting, and office equipment. Product categories are judged by different efficiency
standards; the Energy Star website (see the related links) lists those
requirements and all of the models that earned Energy Star status.
Energy Guide. This
large, yellow-and-black label is required by the Federal Trade Commission on
major appliances such as furnaces, refrigerators, water heaters, and
dishwashers whose operating costs vary widely between brand and model. It is not required on appliances with
little model-to-model variation in operating costs, such as clothes dryers, or
small appliances such as coffee makers. The Energy Guide informs consumers of the total energy an
appliance can be expected to consume each year, how its energy use compares
with similar models (for example, refrigerators with capacities of 18.5 to 20.4
cubic feet), and its estimated annual operating cost. The label also indicates whether the
product is Energy Star-rated.
BTU (British thermal unit). An air conditionerÕs capacity is described in terms of the
amount of heat it can remove per hour, expressed as BTU's. In other words, the higher the BTU's,
the more heat the unit can remove. BTU's are not a measure of energy efficiency, however; an air
conditioner that has a capacity larger than the room in which it is placed, for
example, will not be effective in removing humidity, leaving the room feeling
damp and clammy. For this reason
it is important to choose a unit with a capacity appropriate to your living
space (see the related links for a sizing guide).
EER (energy efficiency ratio). An air conditionerÕs EER equals the number of BTU's it removes
from the surrounding air each hour divided by the number of watts it uses. The higher the EER, the more efficient
the unit. Central air conditioners
are rated by seasonal energy efficiency
ratio (SEER), which measures efficiency over a
longer time frame.
ÒEnergy Saver,Ó ÒEnergy Miser,Ó etc. Let the buyer
beware-- some appliances have names or come with special settings that suggest
they will reduce energy use. While
this may be true, there are no regulations governing such claims. Look for the Energy Star logo instead,
and use the Energy Guide label to choose the model with the lowest operating
cost.
Related Links
U.S. Department of Energy—Major
Appliance Shopping Guide
Energy Star—Qualified Products
How to Read
an Energy Guide Label
Energy Star-- Properly
Sized Room AC
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The following is a selectin from
the new book The Reenchantment of the World: Astounding Early Christians.( Liberty Township, Ohio; Love Ministries Inc., 2007)
THE RE-ENCHANTMENT OF THE
WORLD: ASTOUNDING EARLY CHRISTIANS
*******
Introduction:
Cosmic War: The Orthodox
Battle the Re-enchantment of the Gnostics
***
Our world has
grown boring. Technology is good
but predictable. Deep down, many
people long for the supernatural.
They want to be enchanted by life; they long, in the midst of a
primitive science that pretends faint omniscience, to be astounded. They long and yearn to be amazed. And no, it is more than even that: They yearn to live in a cosmos that is
itself a mystery.
Science has conspired with orthodox religion to create a world of
disenchantment: Everything is
predictable, or controllable. For
when science removed unicorns from the world, it also erased any sense of the
mysterious, or the miraculous.
This left a desert of a world in which miracles were impossible. The glow and shimmer of the unknown was
replaced by the sterile white walls of the laboratory, and even human beings--
in all their wondrous complexity-- were reduced to mere intricate
mechanisms. The world grew cold,
dark, and lifeless. Dreams
disappeared, and even the ability to dream was threatened. The universe became a clinical
nightmare freezer, in which infinity and its playful spookiness were relegated
to ignorance and superstition. The
cosmos was stripped mercilessly of awe and amazement; breath-taking wonder was
reduced to dead equations.
Mystery, in science, as in orthodox religion, became the
"enemy." Its
eradication, at all costs, became the goal.
The short-term goal, of course, was the famous
"understanding." But
people find understanding boring.
They are tired, sick to death, of understanding-- everything from atoms
to galaxies. One of the reasons
that neophysics is so very exciting is that it promises a universe that is a
mystery.
It is a "re-enchanted," strange, bizarre, unexpected cosmos
that is revealed by the ancient Christian mystics who wrote the works of the
Nag Hammadi Library (first three centuries). The thinkers, dreamers, and visionaries who saw and knew God
within their own minds promised a cosmos packed with beauty and profound
mystery. They had seen this
cosmos, and they celebrated its mystery!
For they had experienced a world-- within the everyday, ordinary world--
of breath-taking wonder, of endless vistas, and miraculous possibilities!
It is largely due to disenchantment that people today are so willing--
often, gullibly-- to follow shameful and destructive cults. One, the Jehovah's
Witnesses, recycles the ancient fantasy of those who are terrorized by
death: They promise an unending,
immortal life within the present physical body.
The small book-collection of these gnostics is amazingly
heterogeneous; "Christianity," in the first three centuries, meant
many views to many people. But
these writers had rediscovered the "re-enchantment" of a universe
filled, and overflowing, with mystery.
For
*****
The cosmos, from end to end, was all Mind.
*****
And each and every object was also Mind. They had found this unexpected emerald
in a very ancient path called "mysticism," which they called by the
Greek name "gnosticism."
The books are almost all gnostic.
They (the Nag Hammadi Library) vary widely in origin, place, writer,
time, subject, and even philosophy.
Still, all agree that we live in an awesome, astounding, and
re-enchantingly odd cosmos.
*****
It is a universe that consists of nothing but Mind. )Only Mind is real.)
*****
This Mind is manifested as light.
So, when ancient, like modern, mystics stared into the cosmos of
galaxies, and into the deep mysteries of a lover's eyes, they saw profoundest
Mystery. But they realized that
the Mystery lay not in the observed world, but rather, in the Mind that did the
observation.
*****
Mind was the greatest Mystery; for It made all other
mysteries possible.
*****
All was Mind, and Mind was "Light." This means that, somehow, your morning
coffee, as well as your body, clothes, computer, car, and home, are
configurations of "light" or "energy." They are the products of a great dream
within a great Mind. The idea that
there is anything really "solid" in the universe is starting to look,
in neophysics, like a stubborn superstition. For the latest neophysics is the death of both
"traditional matter" and traditional physics. It also confirms much in ancient
gnostic (mystical) tradition.
For "God is Light."
(1 Jn. 1:5) And Her cosmos
reflects this light-nature, as She indwells it all as pure Mind. This God is the Dreamer of a
"photocosmos" (universe made of light). It is also, astoundingly, a "psychocosmos-- made
entirely of Mind plus nothing. And
God, or Goddess, is made entirely of Love. (1 jn. 4:8, 16)
This beautiful God of pure Love was manifested by the Christ-nature,
perfectly expressed in Jesus, and present also in the heart of the ordinary,
everyday person:
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The entire Christ exists within your mind!
*****
For "Christ" was not Jesus' last name; it was a
title, analogous to "Buddha," and expressed a level of spiritual
development. Knowing that God or
Christ exists within your own personal mind is Step One in the re-enchantment
of the cosmos. It is the start of
the re-beautification of the world.
This re-enchantment begins with the discovery of a higher Mind within
your own. So, from the gnostic
perspective, Jesus had made this discovery. But he was not a freak. He was a model.
Jesus called you to live in a relationship with the cosmos similar to
His.
People today have lost this wonderful vision. They live empty lives, especially in the drier
religions. What they lack, and
that for which they are starving, is passion and excitement. For religion has lost its fire, and is
but cold embers. That dead fire is
the challenge to love, and thus, to "incorporate" God. (This word literally means to put Her
into your body.")
Sex, for example, is much richer if spiritual as well as physical. So, let's get spiritual!
The Presence of the Goddess, perhaps in your lover, can amplify sexual
power. This mind-boggling idea of
God inside of your mind can make everything-- from a rose to a rainstorm--
infinitely and poetically deep, fresh, and rich. It implies an interior Christ of Love in a cosmos of
Light. If God is Love, then making
Love can be a re-awakening of God inside!
This is the matrix of the whole "Nag Hammadi" Library. This ancient Christian Library is, in
some ways, structurally similar to another library-- the Bible. For the Bible is really two Bibles of
two faiths: It is a collection of
thirty-nine Hebrew and twenty-seven Greek Christian documents. As with the Bible-- written over
centuries by people of different faiths-- the "Nag Hammadi" topics
span a breath-taking spectrum, ranging from the almost-silly to the most
spiritually profound.
Still, the Christians who collected the Library saw some mysterious
common thread running through this vast variety of compelling books. This common sharing is hidden, anything
but evident. All of the books are
not "Christian," or even "gnostic." Perhaps the concealed similarities are
esoteric, as befits deep mysticism.
The link-ups between God and Mind (or thought) are multiple, complex,
and profound, inching the reader towards the conclusion that "God" is
Mind Itself. But if so, She is a
very special type of Mind, called "Lovemind." [This is the mystical
"Coremind," at the Center of all shared (collective) Mind. (See accompanying "Chart of
Mind.")]
Gnostics interwove God with thought and Mind so tightly and thoroughly
that Mind is seen as the direct, immediate expression of God. In fact, God is Mind Itself. How
do you know that God lives within you?
Because these words have meanings that you can understand. Intellect proves that Mind exists
within you, and Mind is God.
Because you have a mind,
this is a guarantee that you are part of God. At
any rate, those who collected the Library were alien, and sometimes hostile, to
the views of God as transcendentally and forever divided from creation. God was not some cold, distant
"king" in the sky, or in outer space.
*****
There never existed any "big daddy in the sky."
*****
Gnostics laughed at this, as nonsense! Because they saw "God" so
differently, early Christians were often accused of atheism. For Greeks and Romans had believed in a
similar anthropormorphic (humanoid) god.
(This "rescuing daddy" was the view of "respectable"
and formal orthodoxy in the later "Catholic" Church.) God, said gnostics, was not separate
from creation; She lived within it all, in everything and everyone, and also,
within the human mind. This was
nothing but speculative blasphemy, cried the ultraconservative orthodox
("Catholic") Church!
This rich and powerful Church did everything within its power to
eradicate all mystery from the universe.
It was a champion of mystery-elimination, the "de-enchantment"
of the cosmos! And gnostics, who
celebrated mystery, became its arch-enemies!
The unusual view that God was interior arose largely from a gnostic
worldview, rejected and damned by orthodoxy. Contrary to the official Catholic Church, God did not
create matter from some unknown substance, separate from Herself. Instead, all matter was simply Her
dream, or divine Mind manifest.
The cosmos had not been made in the primitive way that a carpenter makes
a table.
*****
The cosmos had been "emanated," as a person
dreams a nightdream. Matter was
not "absolutely real."
*****
It was "real" only in the mind.
The gnostic Christians excitedly, in
great awe, turned away from the "external and transcendental" god of
the orthodox Church. For this
distant and detached god was separated irreversibly from creation and from the
human mind. It had been mistakenly
fashioned on the sad pattern of the ancient, primitive wargod Jehovah. The gnostics called Jehovah
"Ialdabaoth," and identified him as "Samael," a god of
darkness and ignorance. He was a
minor demon who fell under the pathetic delusion that he was God.
This was the orthodox god, a highly powerful god who responded to human
beings as if they were, to quote Isaiah, "grasshoppers." But the gnostic God dwelled within the
human mind, at a very deep ("Unconscious") level. Thus, the gnostic God was more
intimate with Her children. She
was also warmer, for She was Love Itself.
These gnostics also damned, by behavior, the gluttony of greed that, by
the second and third centuries, was starting to stain the obsessively
avaricious official Church. These
gnostics actually went so far as to give away most, or all, of their
possessions to the poor, putting to shame the orthodox and its "filthy
lucre," its craving and grasping attitudes. The Church was on its way to becoming, inevitably, a greedy
"business corporation," a profitable industry, a cold
"institution," rather than a warm family. For the gnostic Christians, the Church was phony and
hypocritical, and they longed for a deeper, and more real, liberation from the
"world," and from even the Church. From the first century, gnostic Christians tended to ignore
the struggles of the powerful and corrupt to lead the Church as "official"
priests and bishops. Worse, they
despised these, and mocked them, as fools and liars. Gnostics renounced not only the greed, but the politics,
that corrupted the formal "Catholic" Church during the entire period
of the first four centuries.
As the orthodox plunged more deeply into corruption, war, greed, and
murder, the gnostic Christians tended quietly to withdraw from the
"corrupt world." Instead
of amassing material wealth-- then, as now, considered the only real good, by
many-- gnostic Christians grew more introspective. Their treasure was interior, and consisted of Love,
compassion, goodness, friendships, sister/brotherhood, and kindness. In their introspection, silent prayer,
or meditation, they grew to resemble some Eastern faiths more than the Western
official Church. They avoided the
smorgasbord of evil represented by the "world," often retreating into
communes. Sadly, much of the
history of these gnostic Christians has been distorted, or even actively
destroyed, by their enemies in the orthodox Church. The views of God and human beings, and the resulting values,
were simply too radical to allow peaceful assimilation into orthodox
Christianity, which hated gnostic Christianity. As a result of mutual bad feelings and responses, including
the murder and torture of gnostics, gnostic schools developed outside of
Christian communities, in Platonism.
(Some schools tried to thrive in Christian communities, but with tiny
successes and gigantic failures.)
In time, both "official" orthodox Christianity and Platonism
came to view the gnostics as heretics-- rejected and wrong, if not deliberately
evil. In time, gnostic Christians
became pariahs, or "untouchables." They were avoided like plague-carriers. Mainstream leaders harshly excluded and
damned them, with evil glee.
Their "despicable" teachings were preserved in ancient documents. The original texts of the Nag Hammadi Library were written in Greek, and some might have originated near the first century. What we have currently are not the Greek originals, but Coptic translations. ("Coptic" is Egyptian written in Greek letters.) As in all translations, distortions slipped inevitably into the texts. To make matters worse, some of the translators were probably not gnostics, and had not a clue what the documents were all about. To increase the distortions, they were translated over many generations. It is something of a miracle that many intact and matrix concepts survived. For a close study of the Nag Hammadi Library proves that the books still contain essential teachings of true gnostic Christianity, although often corrupted by asceticism. Their survival is due largely to groups of professional scribes, who made it an obsession t