LOVELIGHT

Magazine

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Vol. 1, no.6***June 2004

Managing editors: Richard Shiningthunder Francis and Ada Maria Francis. Contributors to this issue:

Loretta Carrier, Pat Fields, Chris Fine, Richard Francis, Phil and Patty Goodman, Sandi Grubb, Tom Gustin, Tom Heyn, Gene Janning, Karleen Sell, Shirley Sexton, and Geoffrey Stoerm,

FUNG SHUI CORNER, by Pat Fields

Cover tree stumps with creeping vines or ivy, or put large potted plants on top of them. A dead stump emanates yin energy that must be balanced by the yang energy of a live plant. String one or three bells with auspicious red ribbon, thread, or cord. Hang the ribbon on your door knob or above your door so that the bells sound joyously whenever someone enters. Bells attract good luck. Put an aquarium in areas for business success and career growth or in east or southeast areas for prosperity.

In every corner of the world, water -- in the form of rivers, lakes, and oceans-- has created trade, commerce, and prosperity.

Display a Buddha with children climbing all over him. This represents an abundance of good fortune coming from heaven.

Feng Shui originated for the placement of graves of ancestors (yin, female,dark, passive), while the practice of yang feng shui (male, bright, active) is for the living. The ideal location for burial sites, temples, homes, and businesses is halfway up a hill with a wide view in front.

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MORE HUMORTHERAPY: SOME ALLIMPORTANT LAUGHS AND SMILES

What a Girl Really Wants, sent in by Eugene Janning

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?”

A little girl in the back raised her hand and said, "All I want out
of life is four animals."
The teacher asked "Really? And what four animals would that be?”

The little girl replied, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a
tiger in bed and a jackass to pay for all of it."

The teacher fainted.

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A mother entered her daughter's bedroom and saw a letter on the bed. With the worst premonition, she read it, with trembling hands: “It is with great regret and sorrow that I am telling you that I have eloped with my new boyfriend. I know how upset you will be but I am truly happy. I have found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercings and tattoos and his big motorcycle. But it's not only that mom. I am pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams. I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it to sell to support ourselves and our children. In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better; he deserves it. Don't worry mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'll visit for I know you will want to get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,

Judith

PS: Mom, none of it’s true. I'm over at Sarah's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.”

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Top Morons of 2003, sent in by Chris Finer (gentlesong)

1. AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. There, the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just wouldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.

"No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

8. Last summer, on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted over to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

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The Devil and the Lawyer, sent in by Eugene Janning

The devil visited a young lawyer's office and made

him an offer.

"I can arrange some things for you," the devil said.

"I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners

will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll

have four months of vacation each year and live to be

a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's

soul, your children's souls and their children's souls

must rot in hell for eternity."

The lawyer thought for a moment and said, "What's the

catch?"

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Arizona Laws, sent in by Ty Scharrar

Hunting camels is prohibited.

Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. (This goes back to the days of the Wild West.)

There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.

Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.

You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

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Visit http://gatorsden.org

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Quirky Churchy Stuff, sent in by Ty Scharrar

These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.***

2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."***3. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."***4. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.***5. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."***6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.***

7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.***8. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.***9. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.***10. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.***11. I. B. and J. C. were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.***12. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.***13. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.***14. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.***15. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P. M. - prayer and medication to follow.***16. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.***17. This evening at 7 P. M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.***18. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.***19. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.***20. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.***21. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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Political Cows, sent in by Ty Scharrar

American political parties are beginning to heat up the airwaves with political ads. Here is how various political parties view two cows:

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. Tough!

SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point where you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down sized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn that you have five cows. You have some more vodka You count them again and learn that you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.

IRAQI CORPORATION: You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown cow Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best looking cow.

CALIFORNIAN: You have a cow and a bull. The bull is depressed. It has spent its life living a lie. It goes away for two weeks. It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation. You now have two cows. One makes milk; the other doesn't. You try to sell the transgender cow. Its lawyer sues you for discrimination. You lose in court. You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages. You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow. You change your business to beef. PETA pickets your farm. A politician makes a speech in your driveway. Another calls for higher farm taxes to help "working cows". Still another calls for the nationalization of 1/7 of your farm "for the children". The L.A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you groped their teats. You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations. The cow starves to death. The L.A. Times' analysis shows your business failure is Bush's fault.

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What a Difference Thirty Years Make, sent in by Karleen Sell

1974: keg; 2004: ekg***1974: Acid rock 2004: Acid reflux.***1974: Moving to California because it's cool 2004: Moving to California because it's warm.***1974: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor; 2004: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor.***1974: Screw the system. 2004: Upgrade the system.***1974: Parents begging you to get your hair cut. 2004: Children begging you to get their heads shaved.

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Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1985. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up. Their lifetime has always included AIDS. Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic. The CD was introduced the year that they were born. They have always had answering machines. They have always had cable. They cannot fathom not having a remote control. Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave. They never took a swim and thought about “Jaws.” They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are. They don't know who Mork was or where he was from. They think that “beatles” are insects. McDonald's food never came in Styrofoam containers. They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

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Women’s Tee Shirts, sent in by Sandi Grubb

The WASHINGTON POST runs a column each summer listing interesting WOMEN'S T-shirts observed at the Ocean City, Maryland beach.

1. I CHILDPROOFED MY HOUSE, BUT THEY STILL GET IN.

2. MY REALITY CHECK JUST BOUNCED.

3. LIFE IS SHORT. MAKE FUN OF IT.

4. I NEED SOMEBODY BAD... ARE YOU BAD?

5. BUCKLE UP. IT MAKES IT HARDER FOR THE ALIENS TO SNATCH YOU FROM YOUR CAR.

6. EARTH IS THE INSANE ASYLUM OF THE UNIVERSE.

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LOVELETTERS FROM OUR PALS, BUDS, AND GOOD FRIENDS

From Sandi Grubb:

Oh, the Lovelight just gets better and better! Its an eclectic
assimilation of love, laughter and thought! I particularly
appreciated Pat's feng shui advice,...

From Loretta Carrier:

“When I left the church I was forced to attend as a child, I wanted nothing to do with Christianity in any form, and I cringed at the mere mention of the name Jesus. That whole Christian thing became very repulsive to me. It has taken me many years to realize that I had been throwing out the baby with the bath water.

I have come to not only appreciate Jesus, but to have very strong feelings of love for him. That's probably why when I read pieces such as yours that tell the truth about the man and his humanity, I feel even closer. Those words always ring true and I feel warm inside when I read them. I thank you so much for providing those words on a continual basis.

Yes, I have read the Mystic Gospels of Jesus Christ, but it's been a while since I have. I have a goal of sitting down with the book once again and taking notes this time so I can ask you questions about things I am unclear on. I remember that there were a few of those, but I didn't take notes so I don't remember what they were. When I do, I'll post those questions in the ULD so others may get the benefit of your answers.

Love and laughter,

Loretta

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The Interior Person, sent in by Pat and Phil Goodman

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.

It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.”

He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!” There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. He lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him whether he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends felt the same.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books every day!” He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college.

Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our senior high school class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd.

He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad that it wasn't me who had to speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys who really found himself during high school. He filled out, and looked good in glasses.

He had more dates than I had, and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous.

Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said. As he ascended the podium, and started his speech, he cleared his throat.

"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years: Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach. but mostly your friends. Being a friend to someone is the best gift that you can give to her or him.” I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over that weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so that his Mom wouldn't have to do it later. He spoke of how he had been carrying his stuff home. He looked at me and gave me a little smile.

"Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life, for better or for worse.

God [Love] puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

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The Eagle and the Wolf, sent in by Shirley Sexton

There is a great battle that rages inside me. One side is the soaring eagle. Everything that eagle stands for is good, true and beautiful. And it soars above the clouds. Even though it dips down into the valleys sometimes, it lays it's eggs on the high mountaintops. The other side of me is the howling wolf. And that raging wolf represents the worst in me. He feeds upon my downfalls. Who wins this great battle?

The one that I feed!

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The Garden of the Heart, sent in by Geoffrey Stoerm

Come to the garden alone,
   while the dew is still on the roses. FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING,
   PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind
   2. Peace of heart
3. Peace of soul

PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip. 2. Squash indifference, 3. Squash grumbling. 4. Squash selfishness.

PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE: 1. Lettuce be faithful. 2. Lettuce be kind. 3. Lettuce be patient. 4. Lettuce really love one another.

No garden should be without these “turnips”:: 1. Turnip for meetings. 2. Turnip for service. 3. Turnip to help one another.

To complete our garden, we must have thyme: 1. Thyme for each other. 2. Thyme for family. 3. Thyme for friends. Water freely with patience, and cultivate with Love. You will reap what you sow.

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The One Flaw in Women, sent in by Loretta Carrier

By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you

spending so much time on this one?”

And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all able to run on diet coke

and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken

heart. And she will do everything with only two hands.”

The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much

work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.”

“No," the Lord replied gently. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick. And she can work 18 hour days.”

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord.”

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think. She will be able to reason and negotiate.”

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek: “It looks as if you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, and her pride."

The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."

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And she is! Some women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold in their hearts happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to cry. They sing when they want to groan. They cry also when they are happy! They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without things so that their families can have them. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when

they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they

are strong when they think that there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, or run to you to show how much they care about you. They’ll email or phone for the same reason. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their families and friends. Women have vital things to say!

However, there is one common flaw in women: They often forget their value and worth!

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Who Really was King James?, sent in by Loretta Carrier, and rewritten by Richard Francis

For the last three hundred years, Protestants have fancied themselves the religious heirs of the Reformation. They see themselves as descended from the Puritans, the Calvinists, and the Pilgrims who landed at Plymouth Rock. This is one of history's greatest ironies.

Why is it ironic? Because today, Protestants laboring under that assumption use the King James Bible. Most of the new Bibles such as the Revised Standard Version (1951) and American Standard Version (1901) are simply re-writes of the King James Version of 1611. That is why they are “versions,” not “translations.” For they are unoriginal.

The irony is that none of the Protestant groups going back to the 1600’s even used the King James Bible! The Bible that they used was the Geneva Bible, published in 1560.

William Shakespeare, John Bunyan, John Milton, the Pilgrims who landed on Plymouth Rock in 1620, and all other Protestants of that era used the Geneva Bible exclusively.

Until he had his own version named after him, so did King James I of England. But he dishonestly later tried to disclaim any knowledge of the Geneva Bible, though he quoted it in his own writings. His disclaimer was simply a bold lie. It was merely a clumsy attempt to sever himself from his earlier Scottish beliefs. All that he wanted was favor with the English Church. This is why he lied about having no knowledge of the popular Geneva Bible.

King James did not encourage a translation of the Bible to “enlighten” or educate the common people. his only motive was to keep them from reading the “marginal notes” of the Geneva Bible. These were what made it so popular with the common people. These were notes added in marginal areas by scholars, and did not all favor James’ religion.

The King James Bible was a government-publication. Why do we say this? First, King James was a stubborn believer in the "divine right of kings." He loved this, because it taught that God directly appointed kings, including James! (This was a philosophy ingrained in him by his mother, Mary Stuart.)

To James and Mary, the "divine right” doctrine meant that a king had to answer to no one. This absence of even reasonable accountability extended to even the most evil kings. For if a king were evil, that was a punishment sent from God upon the people. So, the most hideous actions could be justified as the “will of God.” (This was based upon the paradigm of the Hebrew Scriptures in which the ancient god was capable of curses as well as blessings. If a king behaved well and justly, that was said to be the god’s blessing.)

This is why the Geneva Bible so irritated James. The Geneva Bible had marginal notes that denied the “divine right” doctrine. Those had been printed in that Bible by Reformation-leaders and ministers. (These included John Knox and John Calvin.)

Among those notes was, "When tyrants cannot prevail by craft, they burst forth into open rage..." (Note on Exodus 1:22). This annoyed the hell out of James! James' religion was nothing like that of the twenty-first century.

Back then, religion was absolutely controlled by the government. This is why it is so dangerous for politicians to modify in any way the fine principle of the separation of church and state! If someone lived in Spain, for example, she had only three religious "choices:"

1. Roman Catholicism. 2. Silence. Or 3. the Inquisition. The third "option" was hideous, nightmarish, and deadly. Most ghastly torture was reserved for "heretics." These were all who dared to think independently, or to disagree with official Church-dogma. These guys were not playing around! Their “god” was really a satan! He was filled with every form of evil and violence. Diabolical priests and bishops would as soon tear off your skin, or break all of your bones, as look at you.

Heresy was treason! For “betraying” the Church was betraying your country. From the time of Henry VIII forward, an English person had three choices: 1) the Anglican Church, 2) silence, or 3) being burned alive, being drawn and quartered, or some other

form of hideous, ghoulish, demonic torture.

The hapless people who were arrested for holding disapproved religious ideas were tortured by sick minds of the king’s agents. Henry VIII kept the Roman Catholic system of bishops, deacons and others of the hierarchy for a very good reason. It allowed him a "chain of command," with him at the top, in the Anglican Church.

It all became incredibly bewildering when Bloody Mary ascended to the throne. She wanted everybody to reconvert to Roman Catholicism. She burned at the stake anyone who wanted to remain Protestant. A number of persecuted people ended up in Geneva.

Mary died. She was succeeded by a Protestant ruler, Elizabeth. The Anglican bureaucracy again tiresomely returned.

The Reformation exploded in popularity in Geneva. Many who had been religious refugees from “bloody Mary” started a church there. Their greatest contribution was the Geneva Bible.

Even more marginal notes were added to later editions. By the end of the 1500’s, it contained all the notes for which there was space on the pages.

Geneva was atypical in sixteenth-century Europe. It was a time of absolute despotism and continuous war. Still, in the midst of all this, Geneva created independence by relentless peaceful negotiation. This it did by playing off one strong power against another.

Religious wars inflamed all of Europe. Spain battled to revive Roman Catholicism, and the Dutch to reform through religious freedom.

The Dutch were, as usual, ahead of the time. They declared universal religious freedom. Amsterdam was transformed into a model city of openness and freedom. English Puritans fled there in boatloads. The 1599 Edition of the Geneva Bible was printed in Amsterdam and London in great numbers until well into the 1600’s.

James was clear that he had no use for the "Dutch rebels" who had revolted against their king. For Freedom of religion and freedom of the press did not have their beginnings in England. Those liberties were first given by the Dutch.

Elizabeth died in 1603 and her cousin, James, who until that time had been King James VI of Scotland, ascended the

Throne. He then became known as James I of England. He made this move with the "divine right” embedded in his mind.

Among his many other idiosyncrasies, he sexually preferred young boys to adult women. Ironically, the very people who use the King James Bible today would be the first ones to throw such a man out of the Congregations.

James also enjoyed painfully killing animals. Once he killed an animal, he would literally roll about in its blood. He was also a sadist. He enjoyed torturing people. While king of Scotland in 1591, he watched and directed as poor girls and women were agonizingly tortured to death in the “name of God.” In witchcraft trials, James even suggested various experimental and horrible abuses and tortures. One "witch," Barbara Napier, was acquitted. That infuriated James! He wrote to the court on May 10, 1551. He ordered a sentence of nightmarish death. He even had the jury arrested. To guarantee that the jury knew its “offense,” he presided at a new

Hearing! They reversed their verdict.

He was also a notorious coward. On January 7, 1591, he was in Edinburgh. The Duke of Lennox and Lord Hume argued with the

laird of Logie. They pulled their swords. James fled into the nearest refuge.

In short, James was the kind of repellant man whom honorable persons avoided. Some Christians would not seek his company. Knowing what King James was, and how he behaved, we can easily discern his motives.

James set up rules that made it impossible for anyone involved in the Bible-translation project to make an honest translation, some of which follow:

1. The Bible read in the church, called the “Bishop's Bible,” was to be followed with as little alteration as possible.

2. The people preferred the Geneva Bible to the government-publication. So, let's slip another, different government-publication onto their bookshelves, changed as little as possible.

3. Old, traditional Church-words were to be retained. For example, the word "church" is to translate the Hebrew qahal and the Greek ekklesia. These are not to be translated "congregation," etc.

4. If a word should be translated, it must be rendered (even if mistranslated) in the traditional way. This is to cause the people to think that God still belongs only to the Anglican Church .

5. No marginal notes at all are to be added.

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You can find more info in Otto Scott's "James I: The Fool As King" (Ross House, 1976), pp. 108, 111, 120, 194, 200, 224, 311, 353, 382.

King James-VI of Scotland/I of England by Antonia Fraser (Alfred A. Knopf, New York 1975) pp. 36, 37, 38.

King James VI and I by David Harris Willson, pp.36, 99.

James I by his Contemporaries by Robert Ashton, p114.

A History of England by Samuel Rawson Gardiner, Vol. 4, p.112.

The Mammoth Book of Private Lives by Jon E. Lewis, pp. 62,65,66

James White also mentions James I in his book, The Kings James Only Controversy.

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The Masonic Founding of The United States of America, sent in by Loretta Carrier

by Alexander S. Holub

The next time you hear some fundamentalist Christian talking about how the United States of America was founded by a group of church-going Christians, think about this:

The revolution against England was NOT popular. Most people in The Colonies were quite happy with the way things were. The people who were concerned about the taxes were those who would have to pay the majority: the wealthy, the factories, and the shop owners. The Boston Tea Party occurred because of the tax on tea. Most of the people in The Colonies didn't drink tea. It was mainly the wealthy who retained that habit. Fundamentalist Christians have the mistaken idea that when The Declaration of Independence was

signed, everyone stood in line to sign it. Actually, it took over 5 years for everyone to sign it. That was well after the Revolutionary War had been won. Part of the problem was transportation. The other part was that many of the signers weren't sure that breaking away from England was the best thing to do. After all, England was the greatest military and naval power in the world, and their protection was an asset. So what if they taxed The Colonies? The taxes were necessary for having the British military and navy ready to defend them.

What about the Founding Fathers of the United States?

Something like 98% of the Founding Fathers of the United States were MASONS. Their main religious affiliation was UNITARIAN. The rest were either Catholic or Church of England. If you will look at the Masonic rolls of Boston (MA), New York (NY), Philadelphia (PA), Richmond (VA) and a dozen other cities lining the East coast, it reads like a Who's Who in American History. Many of the historical figures who came to help The Colonies in their break from England (e.g. Lafayette from France and Polaski from Poland) were also Masons. In fact, many of the officers who were fighting on the British side were also Masons.

Masons, at that time, were DEISTS. A deist is one who believes that a God created the world but that same God doesn't interfere with it. Most Christians are theists. A theist sees God as interfering with, or capable of interfering with, what's happening in the world. (This isn't any different from “pagans” who believed that the gods interfered with the lives of humans.) In other words, the Founding Fathers of this country saw that what happened here was up to them. It wasn't God's will that The Colonies break away from England. It wasn't God's will that there be a United States of America. Nor was Manifest Destiny God's will. It wasn't God's will that the United States eventually become a world power.

The Masonic tradition was highly steeped in OCCULTISM. The Masons were all practicing CEREMONIAL MAGICIANS. George Washington, wearing a Masonic apron, performed a Masonic rite when the cornerstone of the capital was laid; and he placed a box containing Masonic medallions in that cornerstone. The signing of the Declaration of Independence was based on astrological timing worked out by one of the Founding Fathers. July 4th, 1776 at 12:00 noon at Philadelphia (PA) was very significant. That very time is when John Hancock placed his signature on the Declaration. They wanted to make sure that all of the "signs" were propitious for this infant country. Would Christians have gone to all this trouble? Absolutely NOT! Consequently, the United States was founded by occultists based on occult principles.

The Founding Fathers did NOT care for people who would manipulate The Bible for their own purposes. Their disdain for manipulative Christian religious philosophies and manipulative preachers is well-documented. People such as Jerry Fallwell and others of their ilk would bring out their anger. Read the works of Thomas Paine ("Common Sense") and Thomas Jefferson.

(Fundamentalists conveniently overlook Jefferson's scathing attacks on these kinds of preachers.) Jefferson, himself, was so angry with these kinds of philosophies and people that he even wrote his own version of The Bible. The Bible on which George Washington and many of the presidents took the oath of office was, in fact, a Masonic Bible. That Bible is now in the Smithsonian.

The Masonic tradition was a powerful influence on the world. For centuries just about every Pope, Cardinal, Bishop, nobleman, the royalty, and many generals were Masons. Many important people were also Masons.

Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormons, was a Mason, as were many of the Baroque and classical composers. Daniel Boone, Davy Crockett, Sam Houston, and more than half of the U.S. presidents were Masons. It was in the middle of the nineteenth century that the church condemned the Masonic tradition and said they were all a bunch of devil worshippers. After The Church's condemnation of the Masonic tradition, the manipulative branches of Christianity took up the banner (even though they see The Catholic Church as in league with the devil) because it aided them in their cause " control of the masses.

Another thing that you need to consider is that the principles upon which The United States was founded were, by and large, NOT Christian principles.

Freedom of religion is definitely not a Christian principle. Nor is the right to vote a Christian principle. Free education for everyone is also not a Christian ideal. Also excluded are freedom of speech, press, or assembly. But then, slavery was permitted by Christianity (see Eph. 6:5) and this verse was used by the southern fundamentalists of the time. In essence, the rights of the individual were NOT Christian but were Masonic ideals.

It's time that the facts be presented. Most people will not take the time to research and find the truth. Fundamentalists are always going around talking about The Truth, but when they are confronted by it they refuse to accept it.

There are two types of ignorance: The first type of ignorance is that brought about by nature where an individual doesn't have the mental capacities to seek and/or understand something. The second type of ignorance is chosen ignorance. This is the byword of fundamentalist Christianity. Through half-truths (half-truths are whole lies), purposeful semantic manipulations, and feigned knowledge and wisdom they "trap you with guile (lies). The Truth is out there. [More immediately, it is “in here.”] You need to find it for yourself. No one has it for you.

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Sedra of the week by Rabbi Tom Heyn

Leviticus 25:1 - 27:34

...We typically think of tzedakah [concern for, and aid to, the poor] in terms of charitable contributions made... This week's Torah portion pushes us to think about tzedakah in those [larger] terms.

In the last three chapters of the book of Leviticus, the Israelites are commanded to allow their fields and vineyards to rest every seventh year. Every fiftieth year they are further commanded to allow all Israelite slaves to go free, all debts to be cleared, and all property to be returned to its original owners.

These laws, and others that follow in this week's portion, may be the Torah's clearest expressions of its concern for how the environment and the poorest members of society are to be protected and cared for by the community. Even the return of property can be understood as nothing less than a means of insuring an equitable distribution of wealth. The biblical author(s) learned from the experience of slavery in Egypt that oppression of the masses came about as a result of the acquisition of land ownership and wealth in the hands of the few.

Long after the Torah was written, Rabbi Hillel [first century] came along and recognized that some of these laws, as idealistic as they may have been, caused unintended burdens on the poor. For example, who would loan money to someone in need, as the "jubilee year" approached, knowing that the debt would be cleared and the debtor would then have no obligation to pay back the loan? Hillel thus instituted a way around the biblical law that once again reflects our tradition's care and concern for the needy.

Other sages came along who regarded tzedakah, or caring for those in need, as the ultimate expression of Jewish spirituality. Rabbi Assi, who lived and taught during the third century C.E., said that the mitzvah of tzedakah "is more important than all the other commandments combined (Baba Batra 9a)." Rabbi Moses Maimonides, the eminent twelfth century Jewish philosopher, identified tzedakah "as the most important positive commandment."

That helping the poor is considered a matter of justice is even evident from the word itself. In Hebrew, tzedakah literally means "justice" or "fairness." "Charity," on the other hand, is derived from the Latin "caritas," meaning love. Whereas "charity" implies benevolence, "tzedakah" implies an obligation-- be it social, moral, or religious-- to do what is just and fair.

Contributions made in hundreds and thousands of dollars to worthy institutions and causes are vital and meaningful expressions of concern for those in need. But relatively speaking, they may only be a "drop in the bucket." For it is in the shaping of public policies by our governmental leaders that BILLIONS of dollars are allocated (or not) to important social aid programs. It is in the shaping of environmental policies that our natural resources and those who depend on them will be protected (or not.) And it is in the shaping of economic policies that the fate of over 35 million Americans now living in poverty will be determined.

These are only a few of the governmental policies that demand our attention if we claim to care about what is just and fair. And while few of us have the power or influence to directly shape those policies, as citizens of a democratic nation we do have the power to elect and support the people who do. Exercising our right to vote should thus be regarded as a social, moral and religious obligation equal to that of the supreme mitzvah of tzedakah. The same can be said for involvement in political and social causes that advance justice, care for the needy, and [promote] the equitable distribution of wealth.

Yes, we like a President who supports Israel. Yes, those tax cuts are pretty nice. But let us be reminded by this week's Torah portion that our communal obligations to care for the environment, and especially for those in need, are among the highest spiritual and social values that we can and must live by.

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A GLORIOUS, ECSTATIC AFTERNOON WITH LOVE AND BUTTERFLIES, by Richard Francis

This morning (Sunday, May 30), a bunch of our good, sweet friends showed up at the Conservatory in Cincinnati for an annual Butterflyshow. This was the most glorious, florious fieldtrip ever taken by the close-knit Pneumariumfamily! You can walk in a large room in which the lovely little winged ones are flying freely about your head.

We all had the most beautiful and loving experience imaginable among the butterflies! It was a real taste of deep tranquility and ecstasy. We had more fun than dolphinly possible!:) We were all “lifted to heaven” by our joy!

There were loads of laughter and smiles everywhere!

The trip could not have been richer, warmer, or better! It can be described only as an ecstatic experience. We all took home most lovely memories for our interior scrapbooks! Our friends were very warm, and filled with Love. Thanks to help from our dear brother Dennis Spencer, a butterfly "rode" the top of my head for over an hour! The glorious megablast was followed by a great picnic in the shelter, during a beautiful gentle rain! Everyone was so happy, and warm! At the end, there were so many, "I love you" farewells! We will all be "high" for at least two days! It was a real gigablast! It was exceedingly sweet! We shared so much Love and warmth! It was a truly spiritual (Love-filled) experience for all of us. Everyone was laughing and smiling the whole time! There was so much Love and warmth. There was so much joy and pure tranquility. Combined with our Love for nature (Goddess), our Love for each other was definitely amplified! An unforgettable event, which we shall long remember and treasure!

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Overcoming the “Darker” Areas of Life, by Thomas Gustin

Messages as lessons come from anywhere at anytime. I was watching my dog “Sugar” today as she alternated between intensely stalking a mole and periods of random distractions. In this seemingly chaotic environment (movement and sound everywhere) I was suddenly aware of apparent cause and effect patterns. As long as there were changes occurring in her surrounding, she was a 100% captive audience. She was multi-sensing (sound and sight and smell of mole movement).

Even her whole body was involved in varying intensities of stances and trances. When movement ceased, and after some delays, she would look around out of curiosity. Then, she would fix her awareness on any interesting environmental event that caught her attention. Next, another distraction occurred. This gripped her, especially if it was more mole movement.

Then I thought how much like a Gemini she was behaving, being so curious and scatter-brained! She would leap from one project to another. This happened when variety and intensity levels dropped. This was so, if those levels went below the threshold necessary to hold “attention” for “intentions.” Then I realized that this is one of my primary personality traits. It was brought to my awareness courtesy of my dog “Sugar”! Of course, curiosity starts very early in all lives. It is key to survival. It is also vital for healthy, holistic growth. In our society, we tend to quit being curious about life. Curiosity usually tapers off when we leave school. (I must have forgotten to do this part.) It gets worse as we join the ranks of “adult” people in the “real” world. How sad is that?

In response to “know thyself” I became cognizant of a gift that serves my life well. I am blessed with a childlike curiosity, and simultaneously, favored with a terrible memory. Some have noted how my curiosity leads to many concurrently running projects. Few of them are ever completed. Other people lament that it’s terrible how an engineering career was severely limited by a lack of a degree. This was due to poor memorization-skills. But it is very fortunate. Every day life is experienced like a little kid opening Birthday or Christmas gifts. I didn’t remain attached to those gift-thingy’s for long as a kid. I zipped from one thing to another like the cartoon character Tasmanian Devil. Some would say that my career path was significantly handicapped. But I see these traits as blessings in disguise. All provide serious growth potential.

This all led to the realization: It matters little what handicaps that we think we have developed. They matter very little even over life spans. It does matter “what” we do with what we have, and “why”. Leave the “how” to the universe; She knows best. And of course, we are the “who”, and the “when” is NOW. Thank you GOD.

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The Comfy, Cozy, Relaxed Pneumariumfamily, by PatFields

When I was a teenager, there was a dairybar about 5 blocks down the street. It was a place where all the young people just naturally

congregated. We would buy a coke or malt, sometimes with 2 straws for sharing, and spend the afternoon or early evening there. Sandwiches could be bought and chips for a snack. It was a small place, long and narrow, with about half a dozen booths and stools along the bar. We passed it on our way home from school and always stopped in for a few minutes at least. Our

friends were there and we always found something interesting to talk about. We met many new friends here. We'd say "meet you at the dairy bar" and everyone knew right where to go. I have many fond memories of this inviting place.

Today I am grown, and dairy bars are no more. But I have found a similar place. It is called "the Pneumarium." It is a place where we can just naturally congregate. We can drink coffee, or tea, or pop, and there is plenty for sharing. We can get sandwiches and snacks there, too. It's a small pretty place with a dozen or so chairs where we can spend a pleasant morning or afternoon. Our friends are there, and we always find something interesting to talk about. We meet many new friends there. We say "see you at the Pneumarium" and we all know right where to go. I'm building many fond memories of this inviting place. I look forward to meeting my friends at the Pneumarium, and spending some quality time with them. So, see you at the Pneumarium!