LOVELIGHT

Magazine

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March 2008*** Vol. 4, no. 3

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SPRINGTIME ISSUE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Managing Editors: Adamaria Francis and a Franciscan Taoist

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Special thanks, and good karma, to our special contributors to this issue, who are: Ramona Abella, Mary Butler, Jim Dwyer, Pat Helms, Kurzweil Newsletter, Rhonda Lambert, Steven McDaniel, Eric Otto, Teresa Ramsey, Karleen Sell,  Geoffrey Stoermer, Margie Trauthwein, and Vera Westerman

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LOVELIGHT MAGAZINE:  WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT

 

     Lovelight magazine is free, coming to your inboxscreen monthly.  We love to laugh!:)  So, if you discover any good chuckles, please send them along to us!:)  But no bigoted, prejudiced, scatological, geruntological, low-quality, or poor-taste humor, please. 

     Still, life is not all laughs.  So, we hope also to share pleasant and happy thoughts and uplifting stories.  Lovelight wants to promote peace and harmony, and to aid you to feel good!:)  If you are working on any religious, psychological, or spiritual issues, we encourage you to read the ezine, and to write to us at rmfrancis@juno.com 

     Also, if you come across any wise or touching pieces, not copyrighted, fairly short, please share them with our efamily.  Also welcome are practical tips, short pieces on personal philosophies, interesting facts, wordplays, and general spirituality (but no religion or "preachy" dogma, please.:).  We reserve the right to make whatever changes we deem necessary or desirable before inclusion in Lovelight.

      As a subscriber, your email name/address will not be shared.  Please share, send, or copy, this magazine, or any parts of it.  Share it as widely as possible, with all your friends, and all others.  Please use it on  your websites and bulletinboards.  Please email or snailmail any parts of it to others.  Also, please have friends send us their emailaddress and subscribe.  Subscriptions are free.

     This is "light" reading.  And it is also great, fun reading.  A collection of magazines is produced once a year.  We have published three volumes, and this would make a sweet gift for a loved one.  Happy reading!:)

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CHUCKLES AND CHORTLES, GASPS AND SNORTS: HUMORTHERAPY

 

LOVERS AND SUGARBOWLS, sent in by Patricia Helms

 

Mrs. Ravioli came to visit her son Anthony, who lived with a ravishing woman named Maria, for dinner.  During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how drop-dead gorgeous Maria was.  She had long been suspicious of a sexual relationship
between the two, and she grew even more irresistibly curious.

     While watching the two interact, she started to wonder whether there was
more between Anthony and Maria than met the eye.  Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you are thinking, but I assure you that
Maria and I are just roommates."

     About a week later, Maria came to Anthony, and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl.  You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

     "I'll email her, just to be sure."  So, he wrote: 

 

"Dear Momma,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you 'did not' take it.  But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Anthony"

 
The next day, Anthony received a response: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with her.  But  the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Love, Mama"

***
 

DONKEY HEADLINES, sent in by Geoffrey Stoermer

 

A priest wanted to raise money, and so, being told that there
was a fortune in horse racing, he decided to purchase a horse and enter it in
the races.  However, at the local auction, the going price for a horse was
so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead.  He figured that since
he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races.  To his,
surprise, the donkey came in third. The next day the paper carried this
headline: PRIEST'S ASS SHOWS.

     The priest was so pleased that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won!  The local paper read:
PASTORS ASS OUT FRONT.

     The bishop became so upset he ordered the priest not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTORS ASS.

     This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the priest to get rid of the donkey.
The priest gave it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local
paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

     The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she
would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten
dollars. The next day, the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

     This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it
to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day!

***

 

THE SOUTH, sent in by Jim Dwyer

 

Tennessee : The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.  He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help.  If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

     The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

***

 

Alabama  : A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.

     "Henry had a stroke, a couple of miles back up the trail," the hunter replied.

     "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they asked, amazed

     ."A tough call," nodded the hunter.  "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

***
                           
       Texas:  The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.  The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?  Don't you see that sign right over your head?"

     "Yep", he replied.  "That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says, 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'.

***"

 

Louisiana:  A senior at LSU was overheard saying, 'When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana.'  When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

***

Mississippi  : The young man came running into the store and said to his buddy, 'Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck!"

     Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"

     The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got his license number."        

***

 

Georgia:  A State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-75.  The trooper asked, "Got any

I. D.?"        

     The driver replied, "'Bout whut?"

***
 

 North Carolina:  A man had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.
 
       Then he got back in the car to wait.  A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back.  He asked the fellow what the problem was. 

     The man replied, 'I have a flat tire."

     The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

     The man responded, "When you break down, they tell you to put flares in the front, and flares in the back.  Hey, it don't make no sense to me neither."

***
 
     And this from South Carolina : You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heard of anyone wanting to retire to the North.

***  

NEVER ARGUE WITH A WOMAN, sent in by Patricia Helms

 

A husband returned the boat after fishing.  He decided to nap.  The wife decided to take the boat out.  She anchored, put her feet up, and began to read.  The peace and solitude were magnificent.

     Along came a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.  He pulled up alongside the woman and said, "Good morning, Ma'am.  What are you doing?"

     "Reading," she replied.

     "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informed her.

     "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing.  I'm reading."

     "Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.  For all I know, you could start 
at any moment.  I'll have to take you in and write you up."

     "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," said the woman.

     "But I haven't even touched you," said the Game Warden.

     "That's true, but you have all the equipment.  For all I know, you could start at any moment."

     "Have a nice day, ma'am," he said, and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.  Send this to females who are thinkers. If you receive this, you know you're intelligent.

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Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

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THE LATEST FROM THE WORLD OF SCIENCE

 

*Four healthy habits might give 14 more years:  study Researchers see a remarkable combined benefit in following four basic healthy practices.
http://www.world-science.net/othernews/080207_health.htm

* Clone food safe, FDA says; no sales foreseen yet:
 http://www.world-science.net/othernews/080116_clones.htm

*Pollution found to shrink fetuses:
  http://www.world-science.net/othernews/080208_fetus.htm

*Researchers recreate rat heart:
  http://www.world-science.net/othernews/080113_heart.htm

*"Micro-needle" would spare patients the sting:
  http://www.world-science.net/othernews/080207_needle.htm

 

*Researchers report blackest black yet made: A new material could one day improve solar energy  technology by increasing light absorption, scientists say.
http://www.world-science.net/othernews/080223_black.htm

*Do rich nations "owe" poor ones for eco- abuse?: It would seem they do -- more than $1.8 trillion, if a new appraisal is to be believed.
http://www.world-science.net/othernews/080121_environment.htm

 

I Need a Virtual Break. No, Really.

New York Times  March 2, 2008

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The movement to unplug from the internet in "secular Sabbaths"

appears to be gaining traction.

http://www.kurzweilai.net/email/newsRedirect.html?newsID=8108&m=40083

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 Gerontologist Aubrey de Gray offered ten commandments -- rules for successful

revolutions in thinking.

http://www.kurzweilai.net/email/newsRedirect.html?newsID=8107&m=40083

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 Got Sleep? CDC says 1 out of 10

Americans are sleep deprived

iTwire March 2, 2008

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A Centers for Disease Control and prevention (CDC) research study

states that 10 percent of adults --50 to 70 million adult Americans --

are not getting sufficient rest or sleep every night. Chronic sleep

loss and sleep disorders also raise he risk for additional health

problems. The National Sleep Foundation reports that adults need

Seven hours, on average.

http://www.kurzweilai.net/email/newsRedirect.html?newsID=8106&m=40083

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 A Viral Attack against Brain Tumors

Technology Review March 3, 2008

Yale University researchers have found that a virus – vesicular stomatitis virus (VSV), in the same family as rabies – effectively kills an aggressive form of human

brain cancer in mice.

http://www.kurzweilai.net/email/newsRedirect.html?newsID=8105&m=40083

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 Kurzweilai.net/email/newsRedirect.html?newsID=8104&m=40083

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 Robots enter Japan's daily life

CNN International/AP March 3, 2008

 

Japan is perhaps the closest country to a future where humans and

intelligent robots routinely live side by side and interact socially:

with more than a fifth of the population 65 or older, the country

is banking on robots to replenish the work force and care for the

elderly. Robots in Japan are serving as receptionists, vacuuming office spaces.

http://www.kurzweilai.net/email/newsRedirect.html?newsID=8102&m=40083

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Researchers find key step in programmed cell death

KurzweilAI.net March 3, 2008

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St. Jude Children's Research Hospital researchers have discovered

three molecules that together protect certain cells from undergoing apoptosis—programmed cell death--describing one mechanism for how cells may delay apoptosis.

Molecular malfunctions that trigger apoptosis may cause some diseases, including Parkinson's disease.

http://www.kurzweilai.net/email/newsRedirect.html?newsID=8100&m=40083

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 Plan to teach baby robot to talk

BBC News Feb. 28, 2008

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University of Plymouth roboticists and language development experts

plan to work with a humanoid baby robot called iCub to research how

parents teach children to speak. Their findings could lead to the

development of humanoid robots that learn and think.

http://www.kurzweilai.net/email/newsRedirect.html?newsID=8097&m=40083

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 A BLESSING OF LOVE, sent in by Vera Westerman, modified

 

May the Light and Love of your Soul guide you.  May they bless the Great Work of Love.  May you practice compassion always in what you do with the warm Love of your heart.  May you see in what you do the reflection of the beauty of your Soul.  May the infilling of Love bring healing and energy to all hearts, of all creatures, everywhere, in every plane, on every planet!  May you never grow tired from your work.  May it release within you floods and springtides of refreshment.  May this day take wings within you, filling you with lightness and energy!  May the dawn find you overflowing with hope, excitement, dreams, and promises!  May you go into every evening surrounded and protected by invincible and gentle Love.

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 THE WEDDING TEST, sent in by Jim Dwyer
 
 I was a very happy man.  My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for
over a year, and so we decided to get married.  There was only one little thing
bothering me:  It was her beautiful younger sister.

     My prospective, extremely attractive sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless.  She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.  It had to be deliberate, because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

     One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations.  She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that
she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.  She told me that
she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her
sister.

     Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

     She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild
fling, just come up and get me!"

     I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.  I stood
there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.  I
opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.  To my surprise, my entire
future family was standing outside, all clapping!

     With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very
happy that you have passed our little test.  We couldn't ask for a better man for
our daughter.  Welcome to the family."

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A TEEN'S VIEW OF HEAVEN, sent in by Jim Dwyer

 

Seventeen-year-old Brian had only a very short time to write something original for a class.  The subject was what Heaven was like.  "I wowed 'em," he later told his dad. "It's a killer.  It's the bomb.  It's the best thing I ever wrote!" It also was the last.

     Brian died May 27, 1997.  He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off the road and struck a utility pole.  He emerged from the wreck unharmed; but he stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.

     His family framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room.  "I think God used him to make a point.  I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it," his mother said of the essay.  She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death.

     "I'm happy for Brian.  I know he's in  heaven.  I know I'll see him," she said, her eyes brimming with tears.


Brian's Essay: The Room
 
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the RoomÉ.  The one wall [was] covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by authorÉ  But these files [were]É seemingly endlessÉ  The first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked."  I opened it and began flipping through the cards.  I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each oneÉ.

     This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life.  Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.  A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content.  Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. 

 ÉThe titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird-- "Books I Have Read," [and] "Lies I Have Told."É  Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger."...

      I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived.  Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards?  But each card confirmed this truth.  Each was written in my own handwriting.  Each [was] signed with my signature.

     When I pulled out the file marked "Tv Shows I have watched," I realized the files grew to contain their contents.  The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file.  I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented. 

    When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body.  I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card.  I shuddered at its detailed content.  I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.  An almost animal rage broke on me.  One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards!  No one must ever see this room!  I have to destroy them!' In insane frenzy, I yanked the file out.  Its size didn't matter now.  I had to empty it and burn the cards.  But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card.  I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

     Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot.  Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

     And then I saw it:  The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With."  The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused.  I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands.  I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

     And then the tears came.  I began to weep.  Sobs so deep that they hurt.  They started in my stomach and shook through me.  I fell on my knees and cried.  I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all.  The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes.  No one must ever, ever know of this room.  I must lock it up and hide the key.  But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

     No, please not Him.  Not here.  Oh, anyone but Jesus.  I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards.  I couldn't bear to watch His response.  And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. 

     He seemed intuitively to go to the worst boxes.  Why did He have to read every one? Finally, He turned and looked at me from across the room.  He looked at me with pity in His eyes.  But this was a pity that didn't anger me.  I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again.  He walked over and put His arm around me.  He could have said so many things.  But He didn't say a word.  He just cried with me.  

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files.  Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.  "No!" I shouted, rushing to Him.  All I could find to say was, "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him.  His name shouldn't be on these cards.  But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive.  The name of Jesus covered mine.  He gently took the card back.  He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards.  I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

     He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."  I stood up, and He led me out of the room.  There was no lock on its door.  There were still cards to be written.

*****

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STRENGTHENED BY OUR WOUNDS, sent in by Teresa Ramsey


A very famous old elm tree was planted sometime before 1950, in Michigan.  It flourished for many years, and grew gigantic.
 
 When it first became large enough, a bull was chained to it.  He always restlessly marched around the tree, exerting huge pressures on the chain; soon, this had formed a deep rut in it.  For years, this tree wound grew deeper, although it was not fatal to the tree.  When the family finally left, they cut away the chain, leaving most of it still locked within the tree.

 

Bark and new tissue gradually grew around and over that chain.

 

Then, a disaster struck:  Dutch Elm disease killed off all the other elms, leaving a wide swath of death for miles.  Everyone just knew that the old elm with the chain inside was next!

 

The "safe" course was to pull it out and shred it lest it die, blow over, and crush the barn.  But they were held back by sentiment.

 

Astonishingly, it remained alive-- the only elm  in the whole county.  When it was analyzed by  professional botanists, they concluded that it was the chain that had saved the tree's life!  It had absorbed so much iron from that chain that it had been immune to the fungus of Dutch Elm disease!  Today, the tree trunk is twelve feet across.

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 LOVELETTERS FROM PALS, BUDS, AND FRIENDS

 

From Mary Butler:

 

Thank you for your thorough, thought-provoking interpretation of the birds-eaten-alive dreams.  You have given me much to consider.

 

Your help is deeply appreciated, and what you have given in terms of using dreams for information and guidance is simply priceless.  The vivid, long, repetitive dreams of this life are a blessing for learning what's happening under the surface and spiritually.

 

Your teaching of dream interpretation and assisting in those that are more difficult has brightened the light of greater understanding.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for this gift that cannot be measured, one of many through our friendship.

love,

 

A second from Maribee:

 

Your recent post "Waiting for God" [in the "Universal Love Digest"] brought to mind yesterday's meditation.  Bibl[ical] quotes come to mind infrequently since I am not a 

Bible student, but yesterday "Knock and the door shall be answered,   seek and you will find," came through with power during meditation.

 

The experience of God is like nothing else in life.  Being filled with the energy of Love is entirely different than studying the dogma of any religion.  As a young person, I attended church after church seeking a religion that coincided with what I knew to be true deeply 

within.

 

Thank you for continuing to send Lovelight magazine, and for continuing to write and share.  It is true, seeking God and Her :-)  presence is what gives life meaning.  It is the only worthwhile pursuit in the Universe.  And She can be found everywhere, no matter 

what my activity or inactivity might be at the moment.

 

Love

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From Ronda Lambert:

 

Dear Shi and AdaMaria,

Thank you so much for another delightful experience at the Pneumarium!  I have enjoyed these past [gatherings] very much; especially the opportunity to meet so many new people!  My heart was blessed, as it always is at our gatherings!  I appreciate you both being the hosts of this loving event.  Hope your week is full of joy and love!
Blessings!

A second from Ronda:

 

Dear Shi and Ada,

Just a quick note to say how much I enjoyed being with you all yesterday at the Pneumarium.  I hated to leave early, but the time I was there was well worth it.  I also enjoyed seeing Edward and Nancy again....I so enjoy Edwards questions and insights.  Albert and I had a wonderful conversation at lunch.  He is such a kind and helpful man.  It was exciting to see so many new faces!  The Pneumarium was bursting at its seams!!  How awesome!  I hope you both have a beautiful week, full of love and joy.  Know that my thoughts are with you.
In Love,
*****

 

 

From Eric Otto:

 

My impression was that it is a daunting task before you to awaken people and how do we get your books on Oprah's book of the month club.

 

It was funny to learn that you came out of JW tradition. You are quite on the other end of sphere as far as that goes. Where you are is where I think Jesus probably would have intended.

 

I grew up in Christian Disciples of Christ. If you are Protestant and have a mystical bent, it is a good place to start. Thinking about it, as Christians wouldn't be a bad place to start because they are so un-fundamentalist in their nature and calling. At this point in my life, I agree with J. Khrishnamurti who said that truth is a pathless land. Barton Stone who found the Disciples probably would be in concord with that notion. That took me twenty or thirty years to get to this place and some of this after run-in with fellow Christians where I work and being appalled at the evangelical meanness and hate in relationship to the politics. Of course, there is nothing accidental about that.

 

Anyway, see you in a month at the "church of the garage."J

***

 

From Steven McDaniel:

 

  ÉI am brought to mind what you once told me about the Zen Buddhist who says: "Bliss-- good; no bliss-- good."  Guess we can say that about life and death-- all good.  It stands to reason it is all good no matter what happens in that any comparisons and thought to the contrary is delusion.  The incredible Beauty of death is that there has never been a love without dying, and never a death without love.  We are literally dying to love our entire lives and mostly, at the so-called end of the beginning.  Few know of this truth or what wonder is in store for them as they transcend the world of mind and die to the world. And why it is important to experience this through the doorways of intuitive mind beyond thought with the vehicle of love, friendship, paradoxical writings of truth, poetry and other avenues of ascension while still in these brother donkeys.

The play world you talk about sounds divine.  I feel there are many divine worlds as are the mansions in the house as Christ alluded.  The Union with God and the Divine Mother (Atman) I experience I would describe as what Rumi calls "Lovemaking" with God or The Friend.  That bliss is indescribable.  All is one and God.  And the forms melt into each other into a heavenly light.  That Beauty is truly breathless and nothing in the world as form compares.  There is an ocean of bliss just beyond our views.  And that ocean is in all forms if we can only get out of the way and let God.  The idea that these lives are ours is delusion too, as we are all living the one life of God.

What I meant was that at around seven years of age we are forced to slowly observe the murder of our innocence and we see that murder in the adults around us as dead children who demand that we enter their world of reason and reject our emotional world and true wonder of being.  It buries itself into our bodies and is the source, if unresolved, of future disease and dysfunction on many levels depending on how dysfunctional the home might have been.  All homes are dysfunctional, some worse than others, of course, so our emotional graves in us all are not very healthy in many peopleÉ. If there were gross contradictions in the house or emotional or physical abuse then the child that gets buried is very wounded.  As an adult, if those issues as a young child are not resolved, there can be bad relationships or health issues or many other peaks to climb.  We can never ignore or ever understate the power of those first seven yearsÉ.  The problem today is that I see many folks on the spiritual path not getting in touch with their inner child and hugging her and forgiving those who trampled that child to deathÉ.  I think one of the greatest things Carl Jung ever said with incredible insight is the following:

"Today humanity, as never before, is split into two apparently irreconcilable halves.

The psychological rule says that when an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside, as fate.

That is to say, when the individual remains undivided and does not become conscious of his inner contradictions, the world must perforce act out the conflict and be torn into opposite halves."

- Carl G. Jung, 1959


Love to you always,
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DID YOU KNOW?  TIPS ON FOOD, sent in by Jim Dwyer

 

Peel a banana from the bottom and you won't have to pick the little "stringy things" off of it.  That's how the primates do it.  Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store.  If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.***Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!***Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating.  Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.***To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich, add a couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream,  and then beat them.***For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed.  Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies.  Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.***Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic; and add it at the end of the recipe, if you want a stronger taste of garlic.***Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert.  Simply chop them up with the food chopper.  Peel, core and slice a few apples.  Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples.  Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream.  Yum!***Reheat Pizza Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm.  This keeps the crust crispy.  No soggy micro pizza.***Two Easy Deviled Eggs.  Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag.  Seal.  Mash till they are all broken up.  Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg.  Just throw bag away when done; easy clean up.***Expanding Frosting.  When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes.  You can double it in size.  You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount.  You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.***Reheating refrigerated bread.
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water.  The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.

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STILL MORE HELPFUL HINTS, sent in by Jim Dwyer

 

Newspaper weeds away.  Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil.  Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you cover with mulch and forget about weeds.  Weeds will get through some gardening plastic; they will not get through wet newspapers.***Broken Glass.  Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.***No More Mosquitoes.  Place a dryer sheet in your pocket to keep mosquitoes away.***Squirrel Away!  To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper.  The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.***Flexible vacuum.  To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge, add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum.  It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.***Reducing Static Cling.  Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress.  Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and static is gone.***Measuring Cups.  Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water.  Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup.  Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.***Foggy Windshield?  Hate foggy windshields?  Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car.  When the windows fog, rub with the eraser!  Works better than a cloth!***  Reopening envelope.  If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two.  Viola!  It unseals easily.***Conditioner.  Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs.  It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth.  It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.***Goodbye Fruit Flies!  To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass.  Fill it 1/2" with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid, mix well.  You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!***Get Rid of Ants.  Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants.  They eat it, take it
"home,," can't digest it, so it kills them.  It might take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works & you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!***Info about clothes driers.  The heating unit went out on my dryer!  The repairman pulled out the lint filter.  It was clean.  (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load of clothes.)  He took the filter over to the sink, ran hot water over it.  The lint filter is made of a mesh material.  The hot water just sat on top of the mesh!  It didn't go through it at all!  Dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh.  That's what burns out the heating unit.  You can't SEE the film, but it's there.  It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and static free and give them that nice fragrance.  This stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to catch fire and potentially burn your house down!  The best way to keep your dryer working for a long time (and to keep your electric bill lower) is to wash the filter with hot soapy water and a toothbrush at least every six months.  That makes the life of the dryer last twice as long!

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FIVE-FINGER PRAYER, sent in by Jim Dwyer

 

1. Your thumb is closest to you.  So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you.  They are the easiest to remember.  To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a "sweet duty."***2. The next finger is the pointing finger.  Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal.  This includes spiritual and secular teachers, doctors, nurses, and ministers.  They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction.  Keep them in your prayers.***3. The next finger is the tallest finger.  It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion.  They need God's [Love's] guidance.***4. The fourth finger is our ring finger.  Surprising to many is that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher will testify.  It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain.  They need your prayers day and night.  You cannot pray too much for them.***5. And lastly comes our little finger-- the smallest, which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others.  As the Bible says, "The least shall be the greatest among you."  Your pinkie can remind you to pray for yourself.  By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective.  And you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.

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Don't tell God how big your storm is.  Tell the storm how big your God is!

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NATURE'S PHARMACY, sent in by Ramona Abella

 

A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye.  The pupil, iris and radiating lines of the eye look just like structures in the carrot.  And science now shows that carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.***A tomato has four chambers and is red.  The heart is red and has four chambers.  All of the research shows tomatoes are indeed pure "heart and blood" foods.***Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart.  Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows that grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.***A Walnut looks like a little brain, complete with a "left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrum, and lower cerebellum.  Even the wrinkles or folds are on the nut just like the neo-cortex.  Walnuts help develop over 3 dozen neural transmitters for brain function.***Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and they look like the human kidneys.***Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and more look just like bones.  These foods target bone strength.  Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium.  If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, making them weak.***Eggplant, Avocados and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female.  They look just like these organs.  Today's research shows that when a woman eats 1 avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birthweight, and prevents cervical cancers.  There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents in each of these foods.  (Science has studied and named only 141 of them.)***Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow.  Figs increase the motility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm well to overcome male sterility.***Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.***Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries.***Grapefruits, Oranges , and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.***Onions look like body cells.  Today's research shows that onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells.  They produce even tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes.

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 HOW TO LIVE FOREVER, sent in by Margie Trauthwein

 

"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains, and is immortal."

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ADVICE FROM AN ATTORNEY, sent in by Jim Dwyer

 

 A corporate attorney sent the following out to the employees in his company.
 
 1. Do not sign the back of your credit cards.  Instead, put "photo i.d. required."***

2. When writing a check to pay on your credit card account, DO NOT put the complete account number on the "for" line.  Instead, just put the last four numbers.  The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it.***3. Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone.  If you have a PO Box, use that instead of your home address.  If you do not have a PO Box, use your work address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks.  You can add it if it is necessary.  But if you have it printed, anyone can get it.***4. Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine.  Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc.  You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel.  Keep the photocopy in a safe place.  I always carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or abroad.  We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a Name, address, Social Security number, credit cards.  Unfortunately, I, an attorney, have firsthand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month.  Within a week, the thief ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more.  But here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know:
 
 5. We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately.  But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them.***6. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc., were stolen. This proves to credit providers you were diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).  But here's what is perhaps most important of all: (I never even thought to do this.):  7. Call the 3 national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name; and also call the Social Security fraud line number.  I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the internet in my name.  The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen, and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit.  By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done.  There are records of  all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert.  Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in).  It seems to have stopped them dead in their tracks.
 
 Now, here are the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet, if it has been stolen:
 1.) Equifax: 800-525-6285
 
 2.) Experian (formerly TRW): 888-397-3742
 
 3.) Trans Union : 800-680 7289
 
 4.) Social Security Administration (fraud line):800-269-0271
 We pass along jokes on the Internet; we pass along just about everything.
 If you are willing to pass this information along, it could really help someone that you care about.

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THE QUEST FOR LITERACY: THE CORRECT USE OF WORDS

 

What are the names, in Chinese, of the two polar cosmic opposites in Chinese philosophy?

 

Yin and yang. 

 

Note:  It betrays an unfamiliarity with the subject to call the two, as do so many uneducated people, "ying and yang."  For "ying" is not a word in this context.

 

Yang" does not rhyme with "bang," "fang," "gang," or "sang."  It more closely approximates a rhyme with "long."  For it contains the soft "a" sound of the "a" in "calm," "palm," or "father."

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Which is correct:  "None of them are," or "None of them is"?  The subjects of these sentences is not "them," which is plural, and would require "are."  No, instead, the subject is "none."  Now, "none" is a contraction of "no one."  Hence, it always requires a singular verb.  Thus, the correct answer is: "None of them is."

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"Enormity" does not mean, "largeness" or "bigness."  It means "horror."  So, if you want to describe the largeness of, for example, a social problem, do not use "enormity."  Instead, use the correct "immensity" or "vastness."

 

Which is correct:  "Everyone should bring their purse," or, "Everyone should bring her purse"?

     The subject is "everyone."  This, as it requires a singular verb, also requires the singular pronoun, "her."  For, if you use "their," you have miraculously transformed one person (everyone") into a group ("their"), and this just does not work in our universe!

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