LOVELIGHT

Magazine

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Managing editors: Richard Shining Thunder Francis and Adamaria Francis

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Contributors to this issue: Ramona Abella, Nick Ardizzone, Jim Dwyer, Pat Fields, Chris Finer, Mick Gallagher, Pat Goodman, Steven McDaniel, Ty Scharrer, Karleen Sell, Geoffrey Stoermer

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LOVELIGHT MAGAZINE: WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT

Lovelight magazine is free, coming directly to your inboxscreen once a month, to bring a little sunshine, and at least a few laughs. So, if you discover any jokes that make you roar with laughter, please send them along.

But life is not all laughs. So, we hope also to share with you some pleasant and sweet thoughts, and life-lessons.

Lovelight wants to promote peace and harmony, and to aid you personally to overcome any problems. If you are working on any religious, psychological, or spiritual challenges, we encourage you to write to us at: rmfrancis@juno.com[Red, 14 pt]

We also want to present "miniparables" to help you grow. So, if you come across any wise or touching pieces, not copyrighted, fairly short, please share them with the efamily. Please send them to the magazine, at the same address. Also welcome are practical tips that can make life easier or safer. We also welcome short pieces on personal philosophies, interesting facts, wordplays, and spirituality, especially those that emphasize the value of compassion and other forms of Love. We reserve the right to make whatever changes that we deem necessary or desirable before inclusion in Lovelight magazine.

As a subscriber, your email name/address will not be shared. Please share, send, or copy, this magazine, or any parts of it. Share it with all your friends, and all others. Please use it on your websites. Also, if your friends are inclined, please have them send us their emailaddress and request a personal subscription. All subscriptions are always free.

This is published as a "light" introduction to spirituality. It is designed especially for those who have little or no interest in the "heavier" aspects. And it is also great, fun reading. A collection of magazines is produced once a year, and would make a sweet gift for a loved one. Happy reading!:)

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LOVELETTERS FROM OUR BUDS, PALS, AND FRIENDS

From Ty Scharrer

Dear Shi, From Ty:

To keep warm,… I turn off my furnace, which heats my entire house. I close the bedroom door and close the bathroom door…, before turning on an electric oil filled radiator heater… on a timer, setting the heater to 600 watts. The heater comes on only for a half hour, three times a night, keeping the bedroom in the low sixties…. In the morning,… I open our curtains, exposing our patio door which allows the sun to shine in, warming up the house. There is no reason to heat an entire house when energy is needed in only one room. I think it is obscene how Americans waste energy. Shopping centers are cold enough to wear coats in the summertime, when they could be set at 78 degrees with air conditioning. In the winter months, shopping centers are warm enough to run naked through the stores and not even raise a chill bump… Yes, lets tout the merits of saving energy!

I still believe the electric generation companies don't want everyone to use those bulbs, content to keep rolling in the money for high power uses by customers….Last year, I replaced every bulb in our… homes with the low wattage small fluorescents. I don't know why environmentalists haven't been shouting the merits of the small fluorescents from the housetops to everyone who owns a home or business. The replacement bulbs use only 13 watts of power verses 60 watts from the old bulbs.

…Sure, you have permission to print my letter in Lovelight magazine!

Ty

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Letter to Ty:

Just replaced all our "normal" light bulbs with small fluorescents. Have you seen them? They are thin tubes that have a socket screw-in area that fits the outlet for normal incandescent bulbs. Use much less energy, last ten times as long, and can save you $46 on a single lamp.…With a few more aquarians, always elevated in consciousness, we could even manage to save poor Mother Earth!:) (At least, that is our hope!:)

Love,

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CHUCKLES AND SNORTS, WITH MILK OUT THE NOSE: HUMORTHERAPY

SOME STUPID BUT THOUGHTPROVOKING QUESTIONS, sent in by Ramona Abella

Can you cry under water?***What disease did cured ham actually have?***How is it that we put humans on the moon before we figured out to put wheels on luggage?***Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like

every two hours?***Why are you "in" a movie, but "on" tv?***Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?***Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you

naked anyway.***Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?***Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?***If the professor on "Gilligan's Island" can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?***If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk, why didn't he just buy dinner?

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NOTHING TO BRAG ABOUT, sent in by Mick Gallagher

Three Texas surgeons were playing golf and discussing surgeries. One said, "I'm the best surgeon. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers, I re-attached them, and eight months later, he performed a concert."

Another said, "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I re-attached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in the Olympics."

The third said, "Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States."

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YOU MIGHT NEED A NEW PSYCHIC IF…sent in by Ty Scharrer

He keeps shaking a black crystal ball, and says, "Ask again later."***Every time you draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!"***Looks suspiciously like that guy who fixed your muffler last week.***His idea of an "out of body experience" involves whipped cream and women's clothing.***His spoon bending requires two pliers.***Sign in window: "As Seen on '60 Minutes."***During card-reading, asks if you want to "hit" or "stand."***Insists that your astrological sign is "The Armadillo."***Psychics Magazine rates her just below fortune cookies, just above your mom.***Repeatedly attempts to read your palm with his genitalia.***Shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.

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SOME LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE, sent in by Pat Goodman

1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.***2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.***3. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.***4. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.***5. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup

of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.***6. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet.***7. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.***8. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.***9. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

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FROG AND PSYCHIC, sent in by Ty Scharrer

Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have

launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his

discussion with his psychic:

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to

meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"

"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."

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HEALERS, sent in by Ty Scharrer

Two psychic healers meet in the street . One says, "You're fine; how am I?"

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READING TREES, sent in by Ty Scharrer

What trees do fortune tellers look at? Palms

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STRESS-MANAGEMENT, sent in by Geoffrey Stoermer

Just in case you've had a rough day, here's a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works. Only eight quick steps:

1. Picture yourself near a stream.***2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.***3. No one but you knows your secret place.***4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "the world."***5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.***6. The water is crystal clear.***7. You can easily make out the face of the right wing Republican you're holding underwater.***8. See, you're smiling already!

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THE AMAZING DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WOMEN AND MEN, sent in by Jim Dwyer

1.NAMES: If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2.EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3.MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item that he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

4.BATHROOMS: A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5.ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6.OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

7.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

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WHAT A RICH LIFE! sent in by Karleen Sell

Several men were in the locker room. A cell phone on a  bench rang and a man engaged the handsfreespeaker function and began to talk. Everyone else in the room stopped to listen.
MAN:"Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing: The house that I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if it's really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hung up. The others were staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turned and asked: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?" [Is it worth the punchline?]
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BLESSED ARE THEY WHO ARE IN LOVE, FOR LOVE IS IN THEM, sent in by Pat Fields

A woman stops to pet a stray dog , and ends up taking him home ; a teacher shows a little girl how to read ; a nurse attends to a patient . These people, in common , everyday situations , are actually quite extraordinary . They are fulfilling the human reason for being . They are loving . They might be more loving than the monk who prays all day, or the minister who gives sermons on Love, but feels empty in the heart . Love is the food of being, and every act of Love nourishes us at a level so fulfilling and profound…Love is also the gift of friendship . But, supremely, it is the one bond that is induplicable and immeasurable, approaching the Love of the romantic, the idealist, the singer . Supremely, it can be the major commitment of the heart . It is Life's celebration....This melding with one other person approaches the Christian ideal of perfect monogamous Love. But how does one learn to trust ?...It is no easy task ; this is the challenge of Love . To Love fully, one must be willing to be hurt deeply ….We must be willing to march into hell… before we can discover the glory of Love . We must be willing to be betrayed and lost… before we can give another the immense power of Love . In the holding back, there is no safety or fulfillment…. That is why Love is selfless; for as long as we cling to even an iota of the self,… Love will not spring forth and flow . We take the ultimate gamble… when we dare to open to Love. For the annihilation of the self is in fact Love's highest glory . In deepest, supreme Love, the Lover disappears into the Object of the Love . All is absorbed in Love, all given, all received …. It is becoming a fool, and laughing about it …. Yet it is only in this daring gamble, when all is lost, that everything is found . Nothing must be more important than Love . Our hearts must be consumed by it as by a great fire , leaving behind only ashes and smoke . Yet through its brightness and warmth, we are forever illuminated, no longer beings of blood and bone, but of Light …. Love is the springtime of the heart, the eternal bubbling up of the brightness and purity of the inner soul . In its excellence, it leaves behind the tawdriness of the world, for in its light are no shadows . Yet this Love is not yet another thing that we must "do" . Instead, it happens to us, through us . We are vessels of the divine and infinite elixir, when we dare to open to Love . We drink deeply of the sweetness of no-self, of no-mind, and become all heart, all agony and ecstasy.

--Richard Francis

November 1991 [Frankly, we were mildly surprised when we saw the by-line of this article, it had been written so long ago.:)]

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WORDS BUY WHICH TO LIVE: QUOTATIONS

Buddha said: It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It can not be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.-- sent in by Nick Ardizzone

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Plato said: "The first and best victory is to conquer self."-- sent in by Nick Ardizzone

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Rob Gilbert said : "First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your bad habits or they will conquer you."-- sent in by Nick Ardizzone

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Sent in by Chris Finer:

"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path, and leave a trail."-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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"The best effort of a fine person is felt after we have left her presence."-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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From Nick Ardizzone Aristotle said: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

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IMAGINE WORLD-PEACE, sent in by Chris Finer

I imagine…

A world where actual peace exists. A world where nuclear weapons are dismantled and taken apart, so no nation can use them as a threat or to actually launch them. A world where leaders carefully consider all sides to an issue thoughtfully. A world where nuclear power is replaced by solar panels and wind generators, where renewable energy sources are the main source of energy, where oil is no longer considered a necessity, where combustion engine cars are replaced with electric vehicles or other zero emission vehicles. A world where the leaders of all governments think about their actions and resolutions on every item and what the long-term effect might be. And when they think about the long term, they think beyond their own lives, or the life spans of their children. A world where the goals of the world are considered, instead of the goals of a particular company. And I even imagine a time when those talks [against racism] end because there is no longer any need for them. A world where women are treated as equal human beings in every country. A world where no individual needs to work more than 20 hours per week to live a good life. A world where every child is wanted, where there isn't a need to have more than 2 children and the population growth as a whole slows to a halt. A world where the environment is given top priority over a company's profits, where ancient trees are never considered for clear-cutting, where all forest lands are increasing instead of decreasing, where virgin paper costs twice as much as recycled. A world where guns get rusted from lack of use, where gun manufactures go bankrupt and gun control laws are no longer even needed. A world where defense departments are turned into rescue departments to save those who are effected by natural disasters, instead of human-made wars. A world where no one goes to bed hungry because there isn't enough food, where every single person has a warm place to sleep at night.

These are some of my goals. What are yours? How does bombing help to achieve these ends? Isn't there another way--a more peaceful way? I think that there is. We just haven't given it a chance. More often we need to stop and look at the big picture - where are we today and where are we heading as the human race?

--Pamela Gordon

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BENEFICIAL AND NATURAL HEALING EFFECTS OF FOODS, sent in by Chris Finer

Apples--	Protects your heart.	Prevents constipation.	Blocks diarrhea.	Improves lung capacity.	Cushions joints
apricots	Combats cancer.	Controls blood pressure.	Saves your eyesight.	Shields against Alzheimer's.	Slows aging process.
artichokes	Aids digestion	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Guards against liver disease
avocados	Battles diabetes	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin
bananas	Protects your heart	Quiets a cough	Strengthens bones	Controls blood pressure	Blocks diarrhea
beans	Prevents constipation	Helps hemorrhoids	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Stabilizes blood sugar
beets	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones	Protects your heart	Aids weight loss
blueberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Boosts memory	Prevents constipation
broccoli	Strengthens bones	Saves eyesight	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure
cabbage	Combats cancer	Prevents constipation	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Helps hemorrhoids
cantaloupe	Saves eyesight	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Supports immune system
carrots	Saves eyesight	Protects your heart	Prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Promotes weight loss
cauliflower	Protects against Prostate Cancer	Combats Breast Cancer	Strengthens bones	Banishes bruises	Guards against heart disease
cherries	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Ends insomnia	Slows aging process	Shields against Alzheimer's
chestnuts	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
chili peppers	Aids digestion	Soothes sore throat	Clears sinuses	Combats Cancer	Boosts immune system
figs	Promotes weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
fish	Protects your heart	Boosts memory	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Supports immune system
flax	Aids digestion	Battles diabetes	Protects your heart	Improves mental health	Boosts immune system
garlic	Lowers cholesterol	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	kills bacteria	Fights fungus
grapefruit	Protects against heart attacks	Promotes Weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol
grapes	saves eyesight	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Enhances blood flow	Protects your heart
green tea	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Helps stops strokes	Promotes Weight loss	Kills bacteria
honey	Heals wounds	Aids digestion	Guards against ulcers	Increases energy	Fights allergies
lemons	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
limes	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
mangoes	Combats cancer	Boosts memory	Regulates thyroid	aids digestion	Shields against Alzheimer's
mushrooms