LOVELIGHT

magazine

February 2010***Vol. 6, no. 2

Managing Editors: Ada Maria Francis and a Franciscan taoist

Special thanks to, and recognition of, the following contributors to this issue (our “staff”: Barbara Baty, Jim Dwyer, Maureen Dwyer, Mick Gallagher, Linda Jung, Electa Robbins.

*****

LOVELIGHT MAGAZINE: WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT

Lovelight magazine is free. And we love to laugh!:) So, if you discover any good chuckles, please send them along!:) But no bigoted, prejudiced, scatological, geruntological, low-quality, or poor-taste humor, please.

Still, life is not all laughs. So, we hope also to share happy thoughts. Lovelight wants to promote harmony, among all, and to aid you to feel good!:) If you are working on any religious, psychological, or spiritual issues, we encourage you to read the ezine, and to write to us at rmfrancis@juno.com

Also, if you come across any wise or touching pieces, not copyrighted, fairly short, please share them with us! Also welcome are practical tips, short pieces on personal philosophies, interesting facts, wordplays, and general spirituality (but no religion or "preachy" dogma, please.:). We reserve the right to make whatever changes we deem necessary or desirable before inclusion in Lovelight.

A subscription is free. As a subscriber, your email name/address will not be shared. Please share, send, or copy, this magazine, or any parts of it. Share it as widely as possible, with all your friends, and all others. Please use it on your websites and bulletinboards. Please photocopy, email, or snailmail any parts of it to others. Also, please have friends send us their emailaddresses and subscribe for free.

This is great, "light," and fun reading. A collection of magazines is produced once a year, in a single paperback book. We have published three volumes, and this would make a sweet gift for a loved one. Happy reading!:)

*****

*****

LAUGHS, ROARS, SNICKERS, AND CHUCKLES:

HUMORTHERAPY

GUESS MY AGE, sent in by Jim Dwyer Three mischievous old Grandmas were

sitting on a bench outside a nursing

home when an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out

saying, 'We bet we can tell exactly how

old you are.'

The old man said, 'There is no way you

can guess it, you old fools.'

One of the old Grandmas said, 'Sure

we can! Just drop your pants and

under shorts and we can tell your

exact age.'

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious

to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped

his drawers.

The Grandmas asked him to first turn

around a couple of times and to jump

up and down several times. Then they

all piped up and said, 'You're 87 years

old!'

Standing with his pants down around

his ankles, the old gent asked, 'How in

the world did you guess?'

Slapping their knees and grinning from

ear to ear, the three old ladies happily

yelled in unison - - - 'We were at your birthday party yesterday!'

---

BUCKS TO COME: WATCH YOUR MAIL, sent in by Barbara Baty

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program. I'll explain it using the Q and A format:

Q.  What is an Economic Stimulus payment?

A.  It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

***

Q.  Where will the government get this money?

A.  From taxpayers.

***

Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money?

A.  Only a tiny part.

***

Q.  What is the purpose of this payment?

A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

***

Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia?

A.  Shut up or you don't get your check!

***

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:        

1.  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China.***2.  If you spend it on gasoline, your money will likely go to Saudi Arabia.***3.  If you purchase a computer, it will probably go to India.***4.  If you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will possibly go to Mexico, Honduras, or Guatemala.***5.  If you buy a car, it will probably go to Japan or Korea.***6.  If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will likely go to Taiwan.***7.  If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.

*** 

Or, you can keep the money in America by:

1.   spending it at yard sales or flea markets.***2.   going to baseball or football games.***3.   hiring prostitutes.***4.   buying cheap beer.***5.   getting tattoos.

These are the only wholly-American-owned businesses still operating in the US.

***

STORE THAT YOU MIGHT NOT BE AWARE OF, sent in by Mick Gallagher

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City . Among the instructions is a description of how the store operates:   
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors; and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor. But you cannot go back down except to exit the building! 
So, a woman went to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor, the sign on the door read: “Floor1: These men Have Jobs.”  
She was intrigued, but continued to the second floor, where the sign read: “Floor 2. These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.” 
”That's nice,” she thought, “but I want more.”  
So she continued upward. The third floor sign read: “Floor 3. These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.”  
”Wow!” she thought, but felt compelled to keep going. 
She went to the fourth floor and the sign read: “Floor 4. These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Dropdead Goodlooking, and Help With Housework.” 
”Oh!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”   
Still, she went to the fifth floor and the sign read: “Floor 5. These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.”    
She was so tempted to stay. But she went to the sixth floor, where the sign read: “Floor 6. You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.”

PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

***

FIFTEEN LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE , sent in by Mick Gallagher

1. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute.***2. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.***3. Out of my mind; back in five minutes.*** 4. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.***5. God must love stupid people; He made so many.***6. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.***7. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.***8. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?***9. Being "over the hill" is better than being under it.***10. Procrastinate Now.***11. He who dies with the most toys is still DEAD.***12. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.***13. Ham and eggs are a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.***14. The trouble with life is there's no background music.***15. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

***

Appreciate everything that you have, especially your friends. Life is too short; and friends are too few!

*** 

TERRORIST TEACHER, sent in by Linda Jung

A school teacher was arrested today. He attempted to board a flight with a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. 

At a press conference, an attorney said that he believed that the teacher was a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.  He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

*** 

COMPLAINTS, sent in by Jim Dwyer

A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled, a woman sitting across the aisle asked, "Are all of those kids yours?"
He replied, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."
Wish I could think that fast.

***

WHY MEN SHOULDN’T WRITE ADVICE-COLUMNS, sent in by Mick Gallagher

Dear John,

I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching tv. My car stalled, and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back to get my husband’s help. When I got home, I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor’s daughter! I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor’s daughter is 19. We have been married for 10 years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. He won’t go to counseling and I’m afraid. I’m a wreck and need advice urgently Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila

Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low deliver pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,

John

*****

*****

HANDBOOK 2010, sent in by Maureen Dwyer

Health: 1.  Drink plenty of water.***2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a beggar.***3.  Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.***4.  Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.***5.  Make time to pray.***6.  Play more games.***7.  Read more books than you did in twenty-oh-nine.***8.   Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.***

9.   Sleep for 7 hours.***10.  Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.***11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.***12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.***13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.***14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.***15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.***16. Dream more while you are awake.***17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.***18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner about His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.***19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.***

20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.***21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.***22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away-- like algebra class; but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.***23. Smile and laugh more.***

24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.***25. Call your family often.***26. Each day, give something good to others.***27. Forgive everyone for everything.***28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.***

29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.***30. What other people think of you is none of your business.***31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.***32. Do the right thing.***33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.***34. GOD heals everything.***35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.***36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.***37. The best is yet to come.***38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.***39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

***
Last but not least:
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did!

*****

***** 

GOOD ADVICE!, sent in by Jim Dwyer

Something to think about with all our new electronic technology: 

GPS
A friend told me that her friend had 
her car broken into while she was at a football game. Her car was 
parked on the green; this was adjacent to the stadium and 
specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the car included 
a garage door remote control, some money, and a  GPS which had been 
prominently mounted on the dashboard.

When the victims got home, they found that their house had been 
ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen. The thieves had used the  GPS to guide them to the house. They then 
used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain 
entry to the house. The thieves knew that the owners were at the game; they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish; and so 
they knew how much time they had to clean out the house. They had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents.

Something to consider if you have a  GPS - don't put your home
address in it. Put a nearby address (like a store or gas station) so you
can still find your way home if you need to, but no one else would know
where you live if your  GPS were stolen. 

MOBILE PHONES: I didn’t think of this.

This lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on 
her mobile phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which 
contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet, etc., was stolen. Twenty minutes later, when she called her husband from a pay phone, telling 
him what had happened, he said, “I received your text asking
about our Pin number and I've replied a little while ago.”

When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the 
money was already withdrawn.  The thief had actually used the stolen
cell phone to text the husband in the contact list and got hold of the pin
number. Within twenty minutes, he had withdrawn all the money from their 
bank account.

Morale: Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in 
your contact list.*****Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, 
Mom, etc.*****And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, 
CONFIRM by calling back.*****Also, when you're being text by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came 
from them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places 
to meet “family and friends” who text you.

*****

***** 

THREE PERCENT PEROXIDE, sent in by Maureen Dwyer

This was written by Becky Ransey of Indiana

 "I would like to tell you of the benefits of that plain little old bottle of 3% peroxide you can get for under $1 at any drug store. My husband has been in the medical field for over 36 years, and most doctors don't tell you about peroxide, or they would lose thousands of dollars."

 1. Take one capful (the little white cap that comes with the bottle) and hold in your mouth for 10 minutes daily, then spit it out. (I do it when I bathe)***No more canker sores and your teeth will be whiter without expensive pastes. Use it instead of mouthwash (Small print says mouth wash and gargle right on the bottle)***2. Let your toothbrushes soak in a cup of peroxide to keep them free of germs.***3. Clean your counters, table tops with peroxide to kill germs and leave a fresh smell. Simply put a little on your dishrag when you wipe, or spray it on the counters.***4. After rinsing off your wooden cutting board, pour peroxide on it to kill salmonella and other bacteria.***5. I had fungus on my feet for years - until I sprayed a 50/50 mixture of peroxide and water on them (especially the toes) every night and let dry.***6. Soak any infections or cuts in 3% peroxide for five to ten minutes several times a day. My husband has seen gangrene that would not heal with any medicine, but was healed by soaking in peroxide.***7. Fill a spray bottle with a 50/50 mixture of peroxide and water and keep it in every bathroom to disinfect without harming your septic system like bleach or most other disinfectants will.***8. Tilt your head back and spray into nostrils with your 50/50 mixture whenever you have a cold, or plugged sinuses. It will bubble and help to  kill the bacteria. Hold for a few minutes, then blow your nose into a  tissue.***9. If you have a terrible toothache and cannot get to a dentist right away, put a capful of 3% peroxide into your mouth and hold it for ten minutes several times a day. The pain will lessen greatly.***10. And, of course, if you like a natural look to your hair, spray the 50/50 solution on your wet hair after a shower and comb it through. You will not have the peroxide burnt blonde hair like the hair dye packages, but more natural highlights if your hair is a light brown, reddish, or dirty blonde. It also lightens gradually so it's not a drastic change.***11. Put half a bottle of peroxide in your bath to help rid boils, fungus, or other skin infections.***12. You can also add a cup of peroxide instead of bleach to a load of whites in your laundry to whiten it. If there is blood on clothing, pour directly on the soiled spot. Let it sit for a minute, then rub it and rinse with cold water. Repeat if necessary.***13. I use peroxide with which to clean mirrors. There is no streaking or smearing.***I could go on and on.   It comes in a little brown bottle no home should be without! With prices of most necessities rising, I'm glad there's a way to save tons of money  in such a simple, healthy manner

*****

*****.

WARNING FOR INTERNET AND EMAIL USERS: VERY IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ THIS. sent in by Barbara Baty

To anyone using Internet mail such as Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL and so on: This
information arrived this morning, Direct from both Microsoft and Norton
Please send it to everybody you know who has Access to the Internet. You
might receive an apparently harmless e-mail titled “Mail Server Report.” If
you open either file, a message will appear on your screen saying: “It
is too late now, your life is no longer beautiful.”

Subsequently, you will LOSE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PC, And the person who
sent it to you will gain access to your Name, e-mail and password. This
is a new virus which started to circulate on Saturday afternoon. AOL
has already confirmed the severity, and the anti virus software's are
not capable of destroying it.
The virus has been created by a hacker who calls himself 'life owner'.
PLEASE SEND A COPY OF THIS E-MAIL TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS, And ask them to PASS IT ON IMMEDIATELY!
THIS HAS BEEN CONFIRMED BY SNOPES.

*****

*****

PLEASE PLACE CARKEYS BESIDE BED AT NIGHT, sent in by Jim Dwyer

Please tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr's office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across:  

Put your car keys beside your bed at night.

If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get into your house, just press the panic button for your car.  The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies.

This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this:  It's a security alarm system that you probably already have; it requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. 

If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around.   After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and, sure enough, the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or prevent a sexual abuse crime.  
***
This would also be useful for any emergency, such as a heart attack, where you can't reach a phone. Also, please carry your car keys with you in case you fall outside and others don’t hear you. You can activate the car alarm and then others will know there's a problem.

*****

***** 

WORDS LIKE LAMPS ON OUR PATHS, sent in by Barb Baty

"None of us has the power to change other people.  Change is an inside job.  Each of us has the power to change our own desires, thoughts, words, and actions.

- Unknown

***

“Beauty is truth; truth, beauty. That is all ye here on earth need to know.”—Keats

*****

*****

THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!, sent in by Jim Dwyer

A friend sent this along. I can't think of a reason to disagree. I am sending this to virtually everybody on my e-mail list and that includes conservatives, liberals, and everybody in between. Even though we disagree on a number of issues, I count all of you as friends. 

My friend and neighbor wants to promote a "Congressional Reform Act of twenty-ten". It would contain eight provisions, all of which would probably be strongly endorsed by those who drafted the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

I know many of you will say, "this is impossible".  Let me remind you, Congress has the lowest approval of any entity in Government. Now is the time when Americans will join together to reform Congress - the entity that represents us.

We need to get a Senator to introduce this bill in the US Senate and a Representative to introduce a similar bill in the US House.  These people will become American hero's.

*** 

Congressional Reform Act of Twenty-ten

***

1. Term Limits: 12 years only, one of the possible options below.
A. Two Six year Senate terms
B. Six Two year House terms
C. One Six year Senate term and three Two Year House terms

        Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators: Serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.*****2.  No Tenure / No Pension: A congressperson collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when she is out of office.*****3.  Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security: All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately.  All future funds flow into the Social Security system. Congress participates with the American people.*****4. Congresspersons can purchase their own retirement plans just as all other Americans do.*****5. Congresspersons will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%. *****6. Congress looses its current health care system and participates in the same as the American people.
*****7. Congress must equally obey all laws that they impose on the American people. *****8. All contracts with past and present congresspersons are void effective 1/1/11 . The American people did not make these contracts with congresspersons; congresspersons made all these contracts for themselves.

*****

*****

 LITTLE KNOWN TIDBIT OF  NAVAL  HISTORY, sent in by Mick Gallagher

    The  U. S. S. Constitution (“Old Ironsides”), as a combat vessel,  carried 48,600  gallons of fresh  water for  her crew of 475 men. This was sufficient to last  six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no  evaporators (i.e. fresh water  distillers).

However, according to her ship's log, "On July 27,  1798, the U.S.S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full  complement of 475 men, 48,600 gallons of fresh  water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder,  and 79,400  gallons of rum.”

Her mission:   "To destroy and harass English  shipping.” Making  Jamaica on 6  October, she took on 826 pounds of flour  and 68,300  gallons of rum. Then she  headed for the Azores ,  arriving there on 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of  beef  and 64,300  gallons of Portuguese  wine.

On 18  November, she set sail for England . In the  ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured  and scuttled 12 English merchant  ships, salvaging  only the rum aboard  each. By 26 January,  her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although  unarmed, she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in  Scotland . Her  landing party captured a whisky distillery and  transferred 40,000  gallons of single malt  Scotch aboard  by dawn. Then she headed  home. The U. S. S.  Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February 1799, with no  cannon shot, no food, no  powder, no  rum, no  wine, no  whisky,  and 38,600  gallons of water.
 GO, NAVY!

*****

***** 

NEW HEADLIGHT LAW TAKES EFFECT IN JANUARY, sent in by Jim Dwyer

(COLUMBUS) – The Ohio Department of Public Safety is reminding all motorists

of a law that takes full effect Jan. 1, 2010. Under Ohio Revised Code 4513.03, all

vehicles upon a street or highway must have headlights on while using

windshield wipers.

This is a secondary traffic offense, which means vehicles cannot be stopped

solely for a violation of this statute. A citation for this offense is a minor

misdemeanor. Fines will vary by court district.

This provision was put into place as part of House Bill 2 (The Transportation

Budget), which was passed in March of twenty-oh-nine. The new provision became effective July 1, 2009 with a six-month phase-in. Lawenforcement [agents] have been issuing warnings only since July 1. Full enforcement with citations will begin Jan. 1,

of twenty-ten.

*****

*****

BRAINTEST, sent in by Jim Dwyer

A PUZZLE FOR SMART PEOPLE. I am sending this to only my smart friends. I could not figure it out and had to look at the answer. See whether you can figure out what these words have in common. 

Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Assess

***

Are you peeking or have you already given up? Give it another try. Look at each word carefully. (You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer.) This is cool. Answer:  No, it is not that they all have at least 2 double letters. Answer: In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.

Did you figure it out?  Just send it to more people and stump them.

*****

*****

HOW’S THIS FOR NOSTALGIA?, sent in by Jim Dwyer

Girls had ugly gym uniforms.***It took five minutes for the tv to warm up.***Nearly everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got home from school.***Nobody owned a purebred dog***. When a quarter was a decent allowance. You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.***Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.***All your male teachers wore neckties; and female teachers had their hair done every day and wore dresses.***You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped without asking, all for free, every time. And you didn't pay for air, and, you got trading stamps as well.***Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.***It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.***They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed. And they did keep them back.***When a 1957 Chevy was everyone's dreamcar.***To cruise, peel out, lay rubber, or watch submarine races was considered “entertaining.”***People went steady.***No one ever asked where the car keys were; for they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked.***Lying on your back in the grass with your friends and saying things like, “That cloud looks like a_____.” '
Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals; for no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger.***And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace, and share it with the children of today? And now, a few more: When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited the student at home.***Basically we were in fear for our lives (too much of a good thing—discipline having become cruelty in the “bad ol’ days”).***But it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.***Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!***But we survived because their Love was greater than the threat.***Summers were filled with bike rides, baseball games, Hula
Hoops, bowling, visits to the pool, and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar.***Didn't that feel good, just to say, “Yeah, I remember that.”*** I am sharing this with you today because it ends with a Double Dog Dare to pass it on . (To remember what a “Double Dog Dare” is, read on.)***And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to care.***Send this on to someone who can still remember.
How Many Of These Do You remember?

Candy cigarettes***Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.***Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles.***Coffee shops with Table Side jukeboxes.***Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum.***Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers.***Telephone numbers with word-prefixes. ( for example, Raymond 4-601).***Partylines.*** Peashooters.***Howdy Doody.***Hi-Fi's & 45 RPM records.***78 RPM records.***Green Stamps.***Mimeograph paper.***The Fort Apache Play Set.*****

Do You Remember a Time When....

Decisions were made by saying, “eeny-meeny-miney-moe”?***Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, “Do It Over!”***”Race issue” meant arguing about who ran the fastest.***Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.***It wasn't odd to have two or three “best friends.”***The worst thing that you could catch from the opposite sex was “cooties.”***Having a Weapon in School meant being caught with a Slingshot.***Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for actionfigures.***”Oly-oly-oxen-free” made perfect sense.***Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down were cause for giggles.***The Worst Embarrassment was being picked last for a team.***”War” was a cardgame.***Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.***”Taking drugs” meant orange - flavored chewable aspirin.***Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.***If you can remember most or all of these, Then You Have Lived! Please pass this on to anyone who might need a break from her “grown-up” life.

*****

*****

WHALE OF A LOVE, sent in by Barbara Baty

The Whale Said "Thank You"

If you read a recent front page story of the SF Chronicle, you would have read about a female humpback whale. She had become entangled in a spider web of crabtraps and lines. She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body,
her tail, her torso, a line tugging in her mouth.
A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farallon Islands (outside the Golden Gate ) and radioed an environmental group for help.

Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her. They worked for hours with curved knives; and eventually, they freed her. When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushed them gently around. She was thanking them.
Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives.
The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth said her eyes were following him the whole time, and he will never be the same. May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you. And, may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude.

*****

*****

OIL , sent in by Electa Robbins

You’d better sit down. Please read this more than once to take it all in

This is interesting!

Important and verifiable information :

One of the Forbes brothers Was the guest. The host said to Forbes, "I am going

to ask you a direct question and I would like a direct answer; how much oil

Does the U.S. Have in the ground?"

Forbes did not miss a beat. He said,

"more than all the Middle East put together."

Please read below.

The U. S. Geological Service issued a report in April 2008 that only

Scientists and oil men knew was coming. It was a

Revised report (hadn't been updated since 1995) on how much oil was in

This area of the western 2/3 of North Dakota , western South Dakota , and

Extreme eastern Montana. Check THIS out:

The Bakken is the largest domestic oil discovery since Alaska's Prudhoe

Bay, and has the potential to eliminate all American dependence on foreign

Oil. The Energy Information Administration (EIA) estimates it at 503 billion

Barrels. Even if just 10% of the oil is recoverable, At $107 a barrel,

We're looking at a resource base worth more than $5.3 trillion.

"When I first briefed legislators on this, you could practically see

Their jaws hit the floor. They had no idea." says Terry Johnson, the Montana

Legislature's financial analyst.

"This sizable find is now the highest-producing onshore

oil field found In the past 56 years," reports The Pittsburgh Post Gazette. It's a

Formation known as the Williston Basin , but is more commonly referred to as

the “Bakken.” It stretches from Northern Montana, through North Dakota and

Into Canada . For years, U. S. Oil exploration has been considered a dead

End. Even the Big Oil' companies gave up searching for major oil wells

Decades ago. However, a recent technological breakthrough has opened up

The Bakken's massive reserves.... And we now have access of up to 500

Billion barrels. And because this is light, sweet oil, those billions of

barrels Will cost Americans just $16 PER BARREL!

That's enough crude to fully fuel the American economy for 2041 years

Straight. And if THAT didn't throw you on the floor, then this next one

should-- because it's from 2006! U. S. Oil Discovery- Largest Reserve in the World

Stansberry Report Online - 4/20/2006

Hidden 1,000 feet beneath the surface of the Rocky Mountains lies the

Largest untapped oil reserve in the world. It is more than 2 TRILLION

Barrels. On August 8, 2005 President Bush mandated its extraction. In

Three and a half years of high oil prices none has been extracted. With this

Motherload of oil, why are we still fighting over off-shore drilling?

They reported this stunning news: We have more oil inside our borders,

Than all the other proven reserves on earth. Here are the official

estimates:

8-times as much oil as Saudi Arabia

18-times as much oil as Iraq

21-times as much oil as Kuwait

22-times as much oil as Iran

500-times as much oil as Yemen

And it's all right here in the Western United States .

HOW can this BE? HOW can we NOT BE extracting this? Because some

have blocked all efforts to help America to become independent of foreign oil! Again, we are letting a small group of

People dictate our lives and our economy. WHY?

James Bartis, lead researcher with the Study, says we've got more oil in

This very compact area than the entire Middle East-- more than 2 TRILLION

Barrels untapped. That's more than all the proven oil reserves of crude oil

in the world today, reports The Denver Post.

Don't think 'OPEC' will drop its price-- even with this find? Think

Again! It's all about the competitive marketplace. It has to. [Do you] think OPEC just

Might be funding the opposition. Got your attention yet?

http://www.usgs.gov/newsroom/article.asp?ID=1911

http://certmapper.cr.usgs.gov/rooms/we/index.jsp

http://energy.cr.usgs.gov/oilgas/noga/

*****

****

CHEYENNE, sent in by Maureen Dwyer

 By Catherine Moore

At home, I left dad In front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts.

Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The Rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil.

What could I do about him?

Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies.

Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. He survived. But something inside Dad died. He obstinately refused to follow doctors’ orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, and then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm.

We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust.

Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue.

The months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done; and it was up to me to do it.

The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the [owners of the] sympathetic voices that answered. [It was all] in vain. Just When I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, “I just Read something that might help you! Let me go get the article.” I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression; yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

I drove to the animalshelter that afternoon. A uniformed officer led me to the kennels. I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs-- long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs. All jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one; but [I] rejected one after the other for various reasons-- too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen, a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to His feet, walked to the front of the run, and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's “aristocrats.” But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?"

The officer Looked, then shook his head in puzzlement. "He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago, and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow." He gestured helplessly.

As the words sank in, I turned to the man in horror. “You mean you're going to kill him?”

“Ma'am,” he said gently, “that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog.”

I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision.

“I'll take him,” I said.

I drove home with the dog beside me. When I reached the house, I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch.

"Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I said excitedly.

Dad looked, and then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had wanted a dog, I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it." Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.

Anger rose in me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples.

"You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!" Dad ignored me. "Did you hear me, Dad?" I screamed. At those words, Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.

We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad, and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.

Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then, Dad was on his knees hugging the animal.

It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne. Together, he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.

Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then, late one night, I was startled to feel Cheyenne's cold nose burrowing through our bedcovers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his soul had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later, my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the ragrug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.

The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog that had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers."

"I've often thanked God for sending that angel," he said.

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article.

Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter . . . his calm acceptance of, and complete devotion to, my father. And the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.

Life is too short for drama and petty things, so laugh hard, love truly, and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance.

*****

*****

SERENDIPITY, sent in by Barbara Baty

It was on this day in 1754 that the word "serendipity" was first coined. It's defined by Merriam-Webster as "the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for." It was recently listed by a U.K. translation company as one of the English language's 10 most difficult words to translate. Other words to make their list include plenipotentiary, gobbledegook, poppycock, whimsy, spam, and kitsch.

"Serendipity" was first used by parliament member and writer Horace Walpole in a letter that he wrote to an English friend who was spending time in Italy. In the letter to his friend written on this day in 1754, Walpole wrote that he came up with the word after a fairy tale he once read, called "The Three Princes of Serendip," explaining, "as their Highnesses travelled, they were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of." The three princes of Serendip hail from modern-day Sri Lanka. "Serendip" is the Persian word for the island nation off the southern tip of India, Sri Lanka.

The invention of many wonderful things have been attributed to "serendipity," including Kellogg's Corn Flakes, Charles Goodyear's vulcanization of rubber, inkjet printers, Silly Putty, the Slinky, and chocolate chip cookies.

Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin after he left for vacation without disinfecting some of his petri dishes filled with bacteria cultures; when he got back to his lab, he found that the penicillium mold had killed the bacteria.

Viagra had been developed to treat hypertension and angina pectoris; it didn't do such a good job at these things, researchers found during the first phase of clinical trials, but it was good for something else.

The principles of radioactivity, X-rays, and infrared radiation were all found when researchers were looking for something else.

Julius Comroe said, "Serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering a farmer's daughter."

Wiktionary lists serendipity's antonyms as "Murphy's law" and "perfect storm."

REPUBLISHING OF DEVOTIONAL AND EDUCATIONAL BOOKS

We are a little sad, at Love Ministries, to report that many of our books have become so large that we cannot afford to publish them; and our friends cannot afford to buy them, even at publishing-costs. But good news! We are planning to republish Journey to the Center of the Soul: Mysticism Made Simple, in six volumes. (See “loveministries.org”) And we are currently planning to republish Superlove, The Way of Universal Love, The Gospel of Universal Love, and other books in smaller sizes. We will try to keep you up-to-date.